17.07.2022 | “Stressing All The Little Stuff…”

Lyrics: “Punches” – Frank Turner, 2022

I’m back home in my familiar surroundings and as much as I enjoy the comfort and familiarity of it all again, I’m also again filled with some dread. For no apparent reason. It’s the weekend, I’ve got Monday off from work as well and I could just relax. And I do. And on the other hand I don’t. It’s quite weird.

I write sloppy to-do-lists and plan to tackle some chores. And then I don’t. Instead I do other chores not on that list, which is still good. I guess. I get vague ideas for how to entertain myself or how to spend my time and then I have a hard time picking and executing one of these ideas and I end up dawdling my day away. These days I’m so flighty in anything I do and I don’t even recall if I’ve been like that before. Or always. Like I said… All a bit weird.

For the last two days I managed to establish some kind of morning routine at least, which hopefully works better for my mental health. Let’s see how long I will be able to keep that up.

I spent the day reading, doing some laundry, reading some more, getting ice cream, spending time on the patio of the family home… The things you do on a lazy Sunday, when you don’t feel up to much more. I brought back the folder with all sorts of documents regarding various financial / admin stuff for the family home. To finally make a list of all the regular payments that need to be done and figure out how to handle those among the three of us.

My mum has been on my mind quite a bit lately and I’m not sure I’m handling it all right. Is there a right way to handle it? I don’t know. Welcome to the messed up mind of mine.

Ending this with my one of my favourite photos from the vacation by the sea…

Sunset on Ameland, July 2022
Sunset on Ameland, July 2022

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