“Democracy, You Won’t See Us Coming” – 040/2025

Lyrics: “Das Übermensch” – Operation Mincemeat, 2023

The “old” media – established newspapers, public service broadcasting – are still not paying enough attention to the Coup going on in the US, I think. I try to keep up through newsletters and some social media, without getting to overwhelmed by it all. Similar with the election / general campaigning / motions in parliament / public discourse here in Germany at the moment. I also try to keep up with reading a liberal and a conversative Sunday paper and finally make a dent in the ton of bookmarked articles.

Laptop screen with bookmarked articles on paper newspaper
Catching up on the news

In the past I have rarely watched candidates debate on TV, because I was so fed up by the stock phrases and all. In 20 minutes the first of a few TV debates between the chancellor and his challenger will start and I will tune in after all. For a while anyway, until I might just have enough.


I wanted to share happy thoughts though and am now almost running out of time.

I plan to be be back in Paris for a few days in July to finally, finally see Brandi Carlile live on stage. Wooohooo! I admit I haven’t listened to her all that much in the past 8 – 10 years, but she’s always been on my radar. About 20 years ago I was a huge fan of the TV show “Grey’s Anatomy” which had a great soundtrack in the early seasons. I got to know some of Brandi’s songs through that and I loved her music.

In 2010 I had bought a ticket to see her in Cologne in May. A few weeks before that date the vulcano erupted on Iceland which led to lots of air traffic across the Atlantic being shut down for a while, which then led to the cancellation of that tour. Brandi has been back in the UK and Scandinavia since then, but it never really worked out for me. She will be in Berlin and Amsterdam as well, which would be closer than Paris, but those dates won’t work for me. So I booked the ticket for Paris and will spend a few days. Now that I have an idea of the city again. I can’t wait.

“It’s the Things You Choose to Do” – 031/2025

Lyrics: “Do One” – Frank Turner, 2024

2025 might be the year where I choose to do… better. I’m trying to anyway. Be more mindful and take better care of myself and others. Well myself first. On the plane they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first for a reason, right?

Monday morning after a(nother) crappy night of sleep and after the mandatory look what’s on my professional and personal schedule for the week I decided – a bit on a whim – to take Friday (today) off!

One of the best decisions I made this year so far. Of course, I had plans to get lots of things done and as always I only got to one third of them. But I took good care of myself, which was part of the point in taking the day off as well. Sleeping in. Taking it easy. Running errands. Spend lots of time reading my weekly newspaper.

Phone with "stay focused" app laying on a newspaper
Using a “staying focused” app to help me stay focused (and off social media)

Staying off social media and mostly also the news for the better part of 24 hours. Checked my mails once or twice to see if there was something urgent. Of course there wasn’t. Still haven’t checked any social media since 7 PM last night. I will need to log into Instagram to share this post later, but I’m determined to not spend too much time on it then either.


With what has been going on in German parliament this week I was afraid I might have to wade into talking about politics here again even though I was determined not to. Other people can do that much more eloquently. I’m glad that today “German Bundestag rejects immigration bill pushed by conservatives and far right” Even though some damage has already been done with the votes on Wednesday, at least for now there won’t be a first bill through parliament by votes of the far right (aka fascists!).

Wednesday evening I had been looking for anti – fascist demonstration happening around here, which I could go to in support. I had found one (today at 5 PM in a neighbouring town) that fit my full schedule and had been determined to go or even help out with setting it up, as there was a call for organisational support on their website. I had been so determined to go and do that. I had taken the day off. For other reasons, but needs must and all, right?

Thursday morning, I woke up already quite knackered and gave up any idea of any offer of support and probably of even just attending. Selfcare, priorities, the oxygen mask and all that. In the end I really didn’t go to that today and that definitely was the right decision, because it would have stressed me out too much and the point of taking the day off was to rest and recharge.

At the moment I just can’t do it all. And I’m sensible enough to not try to do it anyway. Give myself a break and sometimes take a bit of time to just rest.


One of the many helpful recommendations I got from either a podcast or a newsletter recently was to start the morning with reading a few pages in a real book before starting reading the news or scrolling through social media. I admit I sometimes start my morning with my current fiction in bed anyway, but this goes further. I don’t keep my phone near my bed so it’s purposeful decision to not scroll through my phone with my 2nd coffee – (first one usually during my almost daily mediation) – but read a proper book before that for a few minutes. At the moment I’m often not in the right mindset for two non-fictions I started a while ago: one from the self-help category, one political/historical/social documentary stuff. I knew I’d probably not be in the right mindset for those early in the morning either. I had a good look at my varied unread non-fiction shelf, and lots are about political/historical/social issues, which I knew would be too heavy for early in the morning. Or too enraging which isn’t a good mindset to start the day in either.

In the end I opted for a “The Atlas of the Invisible”, a book about maps and data and cartography “that will change the way we see the world”. And I’m so glad I did, because it’s awesome.

Atlas of the Invisible on a table
Stunning cover, right?
Some of the Index of the Atlas of the Invisible
So many interesting topics and beautiful maps

In the very twisted way my mind sometimes works, I could “thank” Trump for that choice of book. When he had signed his tons of executive orders (was that really just a week ago?) in classic “flood the zone with shit” style, I fell for the trap and got enraged about two orders I had a closer look at: Renaming the Gulf of Mexico and Denali. I always had a thing for maps, I took A level Geography, I studied Town and Regional Planning, which is sort of Geography adjacent. I could not believe he’d actually go there, and I was getting enraged about the stupidity and arrogance and disregard for other people / nations / the world these orders so clearly showed.

For that one morning last week I let these two orders distract myself from the much worse and much horrible policies other executive orders on that day stood for. And have been set in motion since then. Making lives worse for trans people. For anyone not white, for all minorities. For so many federal employees. For… you name it.

I’ll try to do better. Keep my eyes on the ball and stay in the fight so to speak, while at the same time remember taking care of myself so I can stay in the fight. Pick my battles.

“I’m So Out of Practice at Being Well” 025/2025

Lyrics “Ibiza in Winter” – Pet Needs, 2022

Let’s try this again, shall we? I might slowly, very slowly manage to crawl out of this January slump of constantly feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. This morning, I read the 2nd part of a series of articles [in German] on “wellbeing” (quite general term, I know). It was about the importance of daylight. Nothing new, really, I know I need more of that especially in this season. But it’s hard to do, when my job keeps me indoors at the office or at my desk at home for about 8 hours each day during the exact 8 hours when it is light outside. I know, I know dusk and dawn also count, I think. Anyway, because this 2024/2025 winter is really dragging my mood down, I checked out reliable tests for daylight lamps and on a whim ordered one of the recommended models. From Amazon, yes. Sue me.


I know or assume at least that some of the mental exhaustion also is caused by general overwhelm with work and other responsibilities. Caused by self-doubt. By the sense that I want to change things to make me feel better, but not really knowing where to start and then beating myself up for my inertia. I buy books on various self-help topics, which I then abandon too quickly. I listen to podcasts on various of those topics, which sometimes make me buy more books. I need to get started with some “things” and just stick with it, I guess.

I’m back at my personal version of “Zen Doodleing” at least, which helps.

Doodle with coloured squares and black half circles
Simple doodling, not quite finished yet

I’ve also stayed (mostly) off social media for the last 24 hours, which also helps. Even though I’m almost ashamed to admit that. These days I get a lot of my news and especially news commentary from Instagram and it feels weird to not keep up-to-date throughout the day, with everything going on in the world and here at home. But it did help. I checked in earlier this evening and it started to feel too much very quickly, so I logged off again.

A [German] blog post from Christian yesterday made me ponder how my relationship with social networks has changed over time, especially in the past few months. I was still hung up on Twitter for much longer than I should have been, because I met so many wonderful people through it. For someone like me with self-esteem issues it always has been easier to get in touch / get to know people online than offline. In the late 90s I started a fan message board / fanpage for a German TV show and made friends for life through it. Thus the loss of Twitter might have hit me harder than I realized. In the past few years I met (online, but in some cases also offline later) wonderful people on Instagram as well. I’m afraid that my version of that network might go under sooner that I would like. Fuck those spineless tech-bros.

All these intangible connections are now being scattered all over the various new networks which are popping up. There is no way I can or will keep up with everyone everywhere. I will lose some of those connections and that just makes me a bit sad.

In his blog post Christian also stated that it might be time to revive blogs and maybe spend some more thought on what we put out into the ether instead of just sharing every thought the minute that thought pops up. I’ve been paraphrasing here, obviously. But this post might be an attempt at that as well.


Tomorrow (but to be honest probably not before sometime next week) I try to be back with more substantial thoughts on the state of the world. My 2cents anyway. Or with possible some podcasts recommendations and things I’ve learned from those.

For now, I’ll go back to reading the last-but-one book in the Chronicles of St. Mary’s series: “A Catalogue of Catastrophe”, where they are trying to make sure that the Gunpowder Plot in 1605 was in fact thwarted the way it had been.

Palace of Westminster and Westminster Bridge at Night
Westminster at night

Yes, I know that this is NOT the Palace of Westminster from 1605 but from the mid 1800s. What can I say, I don’t have pod to travel back in time, so this will have to do.