I think I might have found out one reason why I’m so knackered in the evening. It came to me when I thought about possibly recapping my insanely busy day at work (which I won’t as it’d be rather boring in it’s necessary vagueness due to confidentially clauses). I started by jotting down what I had actually been working on today. The list came up to 12 different tasks / projects. In an 8:30 work day. Only about three of them were planned or my tasks originally. A lot of my day these days is acting as human knowledgebase / sounding board for our new team supervisor. Which is cool, because it makes me feel competent and he is really appreciative of my support. Two of our team are out sick and so is as half of their project assistance, which are not on our team as such. But that means someone has to pick up that slack. As I’m a) not too burdened with deadlines and urgent tasks at the moment and b) obviously the team’s human knowledge base, a lot of this lands on my table as well.
I don’t mind all that. Not at all. But skipping from one project to the next and back again and being constantly pulled in various directions is exhausting.
Telegram type of what I can’t be bothered to write out in a proper blog post:
Happy to report that I’ve learned to be quite Zen about traffic complications.
I went to another IKEA on the way home, bought my desired item. And some crockery.
Didn’t take a new photo to edit today, even though I took my camera, just in case. So here’s one I edited recently, from my vacation at the Baltic Sea about a year ago
Sharing the latest photo / photo edit might be a good way to create some content here to change it up from the “I Work. I Worry” litany. I don’t worry that much right now either, but my life is rather boring. Every once in a while I think I should write about climate change and climate action, because it is an issue close to my heart and these days there is SO MUCH to say. About policies and strategies and protests and public opinion and science. All the science. But… I do work in the climate action field and I like that very much. But after 7-8 hours of it I can’t always be bothered to also blog about it. One day…
After a work day at home – following an online conference for most of the time – I was on the way out the door for an impromptu trip to IKEA and a photo idea on the way back, when I checked my phone. I had forgotten to turn off forwarding my office phone to the work phone app, and thus saw missed calls from the speech writer of Big Big Boss office. That’s a call you better return even when you’re officially not on the clock anymore. I could answer some of their question and will need to follow up tomorrow morning but that’s fine.
I then drove to IKEA, up the stairs, down the stairs, around the corner – shortcuts if you know what to get – and was in the self-service storage area. Just to get to the right shelf and find out that – contrary to what the website said – the item I wanted to pick up wasn’t available at the moment. Bummer. I almost consoled myself with retail therapy, because right in front of that shelf and close to the cash registers they had lovely plates and bowls – factory second, so rather cheap. I hadn’t taken a cart though and couldn’t be bothered to go back and fetch one and had no intention to carry crockery in my arms out to the parking lot. I guess, it will still be available in a few days when I go back after I made sure they will have one of the items I drove there for in the first place.
So off to the 2nd item on the agenda for this trip: Giving light trail photos a try. I shot quite a few with a variety of setting on my camera to compare later on and to see which setting works in which way. I will need to look into this further later this week. Anyway, I tweaked this one a bit and it turned out all right, I think.
And now… finish the daily dose of my 1000+ pages non-fiction, jot down the small wins for today and go to bed early-ish. Because I didn’t get enough restful sleep last night. I must have typed that here a thousands time as well, like a broken record. Sorry 😉
Mood | I almost don’t dare to say it, but I’m feeling fine. Maybe even good. It’s a strange sensation and it might only be temporary, but… yeah: I manage to keep the worrying and floundering to a minimum. Or if not minimum at least manageable to a degree that doesn’t feel debilitating. The vast absence of the nagging voice in my head feels a bit weird, but I’ll take it as long as she’s shushed. I rediscovered “Get Better” when I listened to a podcast with Frank earlier this week, where he talked about this song and how it’s mostly a pep talk to himself. But it worked the same way for me a lot of times in the past…
Getting Things Done | No, not in the productivity GTD system sense, just in general. I feel like I’ve done much better this week and weekend with crossing some things off my to-do-list. Small tasks and big tasks and random tasks. Yesterday I made myself finish a task – handling the 2022 accounts of the local Green Party – once I started it, instead of just doing a bit and then postponing the rest for the next day. Yes, it took me most of the evening and I got behind on other – leisurely plans – but at least I got it done! And thus could be leisurely today. This might seem like such a common / normal thing to do. Work first, fun later, right? But I had a hard time following through with that recently, so I’m quite proud that I made myself do it last night. I also handled some smaller personal admit stuff today as well. I was on a roll this weekend.
Grief | Still comes and goes as it is to be expected, I guess. We touched on that in therapy this week and how it’s entangled with all the other grievances I still carry around from my childhood. But also how it is ok to feel all these emotions simultaneously. For a while – since at least November – I had planned to work on that by writing all the thoughts and emotions down and trying to make a bit more sense of some. Just for myself. But I admit I’m a bit at loss and also a bit scared to start with that. I hope to be in the right mindset and a less distracting surroundings when I’m away for for a few days in February. It’s a plan at least.
Books | I’m buying and buying new ones and don’t even know when I’ll have the time to read them all. Or when I’ll be in the (right) mood for any of them. The novel I’m reading currently is dragging a bit and I’m tempted to either abandon it or skim through the second half. I’ve got quite a few interesting non-fiction books on my shelf, but as so often: I just can’t make up my mind, which to start with. There are also quite a few novels and the same dilemma. I might need to go back to reading the first few pages of a few and then decide. What a boring first world problem, I know.
Photography | It was still below 0 °C here all morning and I thought I might find some interesting winter / frozen over / anything nature or locations to snap photos of. I drove a few minutes to the next town, because I feel like I’ve seen enough of my own. And to be honest, I wanted to avoid running into people I know and having to explain why I was out with the camera. Yes, I’m feeling fine, but still suffer from lack of self-esteem in some regards. Anyway, I took some photos and dabbled around editing them, but didn’t got anything I considered worth sharing. Then I remembered I had already been shooting in RAW format last year on my vacation, so went back to two of those photos. I’m quite happy how they turned out.
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