Back To Shore

I thought about doing this in chronological order, but where is the fun in that, right? So here are my thoughts on the eight books I read in January in order of how much I liked them – most to least

Two of them I read on my e-reader, two I already (today in fact) sent of for resale. It would have been three, but the third wasn’t in demand at the moment.

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We Could Be So Good (Cat Sebastian, 2023)
★ 4.0
I loved this so so much. I have read quite a few of previous Cat Sebastian queer historical romance novels and liked them to a varied degree, some more than others. The ones I’ve read so far are all set in the 18th / 19th century and the gay men are either aristocrats who are sort of protected because of their status or scoundrels who are in conflict with the law for many other reasons so they don’t care much about that particular threat of being found out as gay. 
In this story set in the newspaper world in NYC in the late 1950s it is different. Homosexuality was still a crime, people were convicted and jailed for it. This story deals with this threat in what I thought was a very realistic way. I had an idea of what it must have been like to have to hide such a big part of your personality away, but this story also made it very palpable to me. I was so afraid this story would break my heart but it didn’t, that’s all I’m going to say. I loved both main characters and could relate to different parts of both to some degree and to see them fall in love and be in love was oh utterly adorable. 
One tiny objection is that especially Andy’s friends all seemed too good to be true. And I would have liked to see a bit more of the editorial positions of the Chronicle, because it was always implied that it was a liberal etc newspaper, but I didn’t necessarily see proof of that. So I don’t know. And I don’t care, because Nick and Andy were just the sweetest.

Birds of California (Katie Cuogno, 2022)
★ 4.0
That was the first book I read and what a lovely start for the year. This story had the right mix of emotional and funny for me. I liked Fiona more than Sam, I have to say. Sam sometimes could be a bit of a whiney baby. Yes, he had problems, but a lot of them were self-inflicted. Fiona had been through a rough patch and I liked that it wasn’t sugar-coated. And I admired how she dealt with it and took care of her family and all that. I early on had an idea of why Fiona went off the rails back then and I was correct. Go me!

The Last Thing He Told Me (Laura Dave, 2021)
★ 4.0
This story kept me quite hooked during the week I read it. It had just the right amount of mystery and intrigue, wondering whom to trust, twist and turns, a likeable main character and a lot of interesting and unique characters around her. Some could have been a bit more fleshed out in my opinion, but that’s a minor detail. I found it fascinating to consider how much or how little we actually know about the people in our lives. Because, how well do we know them, really? Would I have loved a different ending? Yes, I would have, but I get why it ended the way it did and I was fine with that.

Someone Else’s Love Story (Joshilyn Jackson, 2013)
★ 3.0
First of all: I would have liked a bit of warning that this story deals with rape / non-consensual sex. It’s not graphic or anything, but no blurb I’ve seen even hinted at it and I think I might have liked known about it going in. This one is a bit hard for me to rate. I thought it was a unique set of characters and plot and I was captivated by the two different lives, whose path accidentally met at the Circle K mart. The story was wonderfully written and all the characters were fleshed out well enough for me. It was a bit darker than I expected (rape etc.) and I was okay with that as well. I loved that the story about the robber showed that most of us are just trying to do the best with the cards we’re dealt with. There were some great twists and turns that definitely surprised me.

Having said all that, I really didn’t feel onboard with the last development / end of the story. Not primarily because I wanted it to have a different (happy-)end, but because at no point in the story I saw or felt that connection, which – to me all of a sudden – bloomed into a love story. No way! Sorry, I just didn’t buy it. Also the more I see it mentioned on other reviews now after I’ve finished it, I also feel like the way this sudden love comes up also somehow puts the blame for the rape on the woman (don’t want to give away spoilers, why I think that). But it makes me feel even more uncomfortable with the last bit of the book.

While Justice Sleeps (Stacey Abrams, 2021)
★ 3.0
This was a classic legal / political thriller, which had been on my list for a long time. I admit one of the main draw for me to read this was that the writer Stacey Abrams is a high profile politician herself. And I like the story and the characters fine. But not more than that to be honest. All in all the writing often felt a bit impersonal / stilted and the plot got a bit confusing from time to time. So I don’t know if I’ll read the 2nd book with Avery Keene anytime soon.

 Maame (Jessica George, 2023)
★ 2.5
I admit I struggled with this one. Partly maybe because it hit too close to home in some aspects. But mostly because I couldn’t really relate to the main character for some reason. I thought the way her work situation resolved kind of awkward. And I really disliked that so much of the book to me read like a not well written psychological self-help book. I’ve read my share of those and it’s fine when that’s the purpose of the book, but those thoughts and advice uttered here felt weird. To me at least.

All Adults Here (Emma Straub, 2020)
★ 2.5
I had put off reading this one for a long time, because I was afraid this story about how parental decisions influence childrens’ lives might hit too close to home. In the end it was fine, as the way the main character, the 69 years old widow Astrid had parented her children was different from what I experienced with my mum. The book is slow and there isn’t all that much happening or at least it feels like that. We get to know Astrid and her children and their families, all functioning (or not) in various degrees. I was rather indifferent about most of the characters, which doesn’t make for a very captivating read. The more I think about it the more I’m disappointed that all the plots sort of just meander and in the end peter out.

Things You Save in a Fire (Katherine Center, 2019)
★ 1.0
I was so disappointed by this one. Once again I think a warning that rape (not in a graphic way) plays a part in the backstory would have been good. Not for me, I didn’t mind, but other readers might. There was so much I didn’t like in this regardless from that. The hazing? Tradition or not, such a no-go for me. I never really warmed to Cassie to be honest, didn’t buy her head over heels in love with the rookie either. The whole stalker / lie / addiction plot among the fire crew was too much of a cliche in my eyes. I’m glad I cancelled my paperback order when it couldn’t be delivered for months and went with the cheaper ebook instead. I enjoyed a few of Center’s books I’ve read before, so this was an extraordinary bummer for me.

Lyrics “1933” – Frank Turner, 2016

For way too long we – as many in the German society and politics and government – have thought that the neo-fascist party AfD could be contained and that they wouldn’t be able to actually destroy the pillars of democracy and an open society.

Right after reports on the secret meeting between neo-fascists activists, neo-fascist and conservative politicians and businessmen were published about a week ago, I thought about joining a anti-fascist protest happening the next day in a town about 90 minutes away. I couldn’t bring myself to be that active that weekend.

Since then many many people all over Germany took to the streets in protest and on Friday evening I joined a protest in the metropolitan region I work in. I’m glad that I did, because there is comfort and safety in numbers and there were so many people. So many different people, which also was a joy to see: the lefty punks. The old to middle aged liberals. Middle aged women who mentioned that this was their first protest ever. Family in all shapes, sizes and age: parents with teenager and parents with baby strollers. I saw an elderly woman with walker. It was amazing.

On the march itself I caught myself being a bit judge-y towards all those people who were still going on about their business on the shopping streets, sitting in fast-food restaurants and all. Why didn’t they just join in? Didn’t they care? But I know that was a very simplistic and privileged way of thinking.

I didn’t stay till the end of the protest. There were supposed to be many more speeches held at a 2nd stop before the march completed the circle back to the main station. I admit I was freezing and I wanted to get away before the crowds would hit the metro. But I also wasn’t in the mood for yet more middle class left-wing rhetoric. Don’t get me wrong, I am middle class and left-wing, but I was a bit fed up with it that day.

I’m worried about the situation, but I don’t have any answers or solutions – neither quick ones nor lasting ones – and that of course adds to my worry. Because yes, now a lot of people are out there protesting and that’s awesome, but that’s not a lasting solution. It won’t change many or any neo-fascists / right-wing voters mind. It won’t change the mind of any the frustrated and disenfranchised voters, who vote for the neo-fascist out of that frustration and because the neo-fascists present simple solutions and false promises.

Some rambling thoughts on all that:

The other parties and all levels of government need to prepare for the neo-fascist AfD winning the majority of seats in three federal states later this year. Which could lead to some standstill in federal governance and implementation of right-wing policies on state level. I hope they have a plan to implement stop gates like protecting the constitutional courts, but right now I’m worried they might not have.

In my opinion we also need a drastic change in policies and political communication to reach those disenfranchised voters. Everywhere! I recently saw an Insta Story on how well the neofasicsts use TikTok to spread their message and reach the young(er) voters and how the mainstream parties have no idea how to counter that. That’s scary as shit, isn’t it? We can moan all we like about TikTok and how it destroys any sensible discourse and how it spreads hate: The fact is: it is what is happening and main stream parties need to get on it! What’s happening instead? Liberal ministers fire up the divide in society by pitting various groups against each others in a speech. Government cuts funding for social causes like youth centres and political education.

Talking about Social Media: On Instagram I muted stories for a few of the most active antifascist journalists today, because I was watching it all and it’s so much and it’s so important, but I lack impulse control so I spent too much time on this app. And that’s no good for anyone.

I’d rather spend the time reading newspaper articles offline and online about these issues and others, because it’s not as if the world stopped being a messed up place, just because Germany starts waking up the neofascist threat here at home.

Catching up | I used quite some time over the past two days to finally catch up with all the articles I tend to save in my bookmarks app to read later. Links to articles I see in newsletters or on social media. So so many articles. I need to get into a routine to not just save and save – like a squirrel before the winter comes – but to actually read those articles in time. Some were so out of date that I deleted the link unread, because global politics moved much faster than I read sometimes.

These day it is newsletters from various independent news organisations and social media (their accounts and others) were I get most of my news (articles) from. I also check and read what mainstream media, because I still mostly trust them. I only pay for one of those though whereas I have a paid subscription for at least 3 or 4 of the independent ones.

Books | When I wasn’t reading news articles on my laptop or phone, I was a deep into a proper book, ink on paper and such.

Here are two of my current reviews on Goodreads. Note that I made good on one of my (never publically shared) resolutions to start writing proper reviews on the website and not just a few words through the app.

Thieves’ Gambit: “A fast-paced YA thriller about a cutthroat competition for the world’s best thieves, including the teen girl who must win to save her parents’ lives.” My review ★★★

We Are The Brennans: “We Are the Brennans explores the staying power of shame―and the redemptive power of love―in an Irish Catholic family torn apart by secrets.” My review ★★★★★

I thought I should use the remainder of the long time off (a whole week still from today) to delve into one of the bigger books on my to-read-shelf. I sort of liked “Fourth Wing” and thus bought “Iron Flame” when it came out this summer.

Last night I read the first few pages of both of these books and came to a quick decision. “Homecoming” it is and I might just sell both the “The Empyrean” series in the near future. Because I did not remember a lot of the first book when I read those pages in the 2nd one last night. It all felt quite foreign to me and I didn’t feel the urge to skim through the first book again for a recap.

Other Entertainment | Bits and pieces of various podcasts, but my mind just couldn’t settle on one for long. But also Tim Burton’s “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” (Netflix), because I was planning to and will in fact tonight watch “Wonka” at the cinema. I found the trailer interesting enough when I first saw it this summer. But I thought I probably should watch “Charlie and…” first at least once, because I hadn’t done that yet. Neither have I read the book. I liked the movie fine, typical Tim Burton stuff. My first though when I saw Helena Bonham Carter and more so Johnny Depp was “They look young”. And then I looked up the year of the movie. 2005. Of course they look bloody young, they filmed it 20 years ago. And then I felt rather old, but I guess that’s just the way of life.