As long as I’m recuperating at home – not quite bed-bound, but rather sluggish all around – I might as well post an update and share some thoughts. Randomly as ever…
COVID | I took a 2nd test – positive – on Sunday, which was day 2 if we’re still doing the old count from first positive test thing. Symptomwise it would have been day 4 or whatever. No one really cares anymore, do they? It feels so weird do go through this this time when most people seem to consider it not more than a common cold. I catch myself falling into that same kind of relaxed mindset and am not sure what to think of myself for that.
The symptoms continue to be much milder than last year, which is a relief. I had a fever in the first night and some headaches, but meds helped with the latter and the fever seemed to have been a singularity for now. Nothing compared to 3 nights with over 39 °C last time. Right now it “just” feels like a severe cold with stuffed sinuses and bronchi and all, but all managable with lots of rest and fluids and regular cold meds.
I just really hope that I didn’t pass it on to the new coworker who sat in my office for most of the time on Thursday, because his work station wasn’t ready yet. We were more than 1.5 m apart for the most time and I didn’t cough and sneeze that much, I think. But I breathed of course. Fingers crossed that I wasn’t a Typhoid Mary for him.
Being (a) patient | The fact that I’m not bedbound and sort of well enough to get up and “do” things like shower and prepare some food and read and watch TV (and scroll through my phone) tends to make me feel like I actually should do stuff. Like chores. While I sometimes excel at being lazy and procrastinate and not do stuff, now that I’ve got a valid reason to take it easy and just be, I feel quite guilty for not putting away the laundry or sweeping the kitchen floor. All that despite the fact that sorting away some of the laundry today quickly made me feel a bit drained – energy wise. Which to me is a clear sign that I probably shouldn’t be doing much more than lying in bed or sitting on my couch. Yet I still felt guilty for doing exactly just that. A bit stupid, I know. I have no idea at what point in my life I developed this “you have to function, even if you’re not 100%” attitude. At least I’ve realized by now that it’s not helpful and that it’s ok to not function for a while, when off sick with COVID.
Social Media | Being sick and feeling sluggish isn’t a good time to try to cut down social media use, I can tell you. Because it’s physically so easy to just scroll and be mentally distracted from the malaise for a while. I see more and more people properly leave Twitter and switch to either of the other available social media apps. I sometimes wonder if it makes me a bad person (stupid though again, I know) for not following through with that yet. My reason for not leaving Twitter (yet) simply is that there are a few people and even more artists I like who still use Twitter as their main mean of communication and PR and such. And I don’t want to miss out on what they have to say and share. I do try to limit scrolling through any other stuff there though.
I still haven’t quite gotten used to mastadon or bluesky, even though they are similar to Twitter obviously. I think I miss the “curated to my own preferences” experience I had on Twitter for so long and the connections I made. It’s hard to recreate that on any other platform and I admit I’m not sure I really want to nor if I really should.
Pastime | As mentioned above I’m not in a fit state to “function” more than necessary these days, so I kept to reading and doodling. I postponed reading “Cloud Cuckoo Land” the book I had started, because my mind needed something easier, fluffier at the moment. I picked a few of those from my unbelievably long “TBR” list on Goodreads, ordered the ebooks and dove in. The first one “In a Jam” I thought was alright. The 2nd one “The Wednesday Morning Wild Swim” had a main character who acted in a way, I just couldn’t support, so that was a bit of a disappointment. Currently I’m reading “The Queer Principle of Kit Webb” and I quite enjoy it, just as I have enjoyed most Cat Sebastian’s stories in that genre (queer historical romance) in the past (My short reviews of said books on my Goodreads as usual).
I still haven’t found the right term for what I create when I draw random forms on paper and often colour them in. I’ve started to feel a bit aversed to the whole “ZenTangle” (trademark!) etc stuff, because it feels so commercialized. It doesn’t really matter what to call it other than doodling, I guess. Here is my latest WIP:
“I Don’t Know, I Changed My Mind” | This line from Frank Turner’s “Get It Right” pops up in my mind so often these days. I do think about and have opinions on the horrible wars and armed conflicts raging in the world at the moment. In some cases – like the Israel – Hamas war happening right now – I even have conflicting opinions, which shouldn’t be a surprise, because it’s all complex and complicated. My opinions also might have changed over time. Go figure! But it all is more complex and complicated than some people on social media and maybe even in some regular media might make it seem. Do I have to pick a side? Do I know enough to even be able to pick a side? Can I do anything? Yes I and we all can: Donate to humanitarian aid. Every little bit counts I’m sure.
