30.08.2020 | “I can’t stand being the person that I’ve been…”

That line says it all. Or it says something at least. To be  fair my mood is not as bad as it was a few days ago.  I still feel overwhelmed with some things. Frustrated with others. Yadayadayda… same old story. I’m tired. 5 more days till I’m on vacation. I can’t wait.

One of the better things  I did was setting up a calendar in my (bullet)journal for the rest of the year and also jotting down the important – good – things / events from this whole weird year so far. It wasn’t all bad after all. Perspective and all that. 

At least I got enough sleep this weekend. Which always helps. Another good thing I realized earlier this week was, that even though I still react pretty emotional to all kinds of random stuff – in both good and bad ways – I also feel like I’ve got a better check on my emotions. I feel myself reacting, but before I let the whole flood run its course, I often enough take a breath, check if the thing I’m reaction to is actually worth all this fuss or if it’s just all in my head. Which often enough it is, because I more often than not imagine the worst things for no good reason whatsoever. It’s good to remind myself that I not always realized that all that worry was just in my head – literally, and that I’ve come quite a long way in the last few years. Step by step, baby.

I will now spend the rest of the evening writing lists of things I need to do before my vacation and things to pack and all that. That’s the fun bit of planning anyway.

Lyrics: Josephine, Frank Turner, 2015

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