Back To Shore

Let’s try this for a change.

Sleep: Ugh! Not enough last night. I woke up around 4.15 and didn’t fall back asleep. I didn’t feel overly anxious, so I have no idea what kept me awake.

Breakfast/Lunch: On Saturday I got back on the “intermittent fasting” track. I’m not as active as I could / should be, but I really want to shed some weight, because I know it will make me feel more comfortable. Today is another fasting day and that’s my sad breakfast/lunch. Not posting for sympathy or pity, because I chose to do this, so….

Podcasts: I’m finding more and more interesting talks /podcasts I want to check out. Sometimes it’s just a guest I’m interested in and then I realize the host / format is actually quite nice as well and I subscribe. I’ll never ever get to listen to all the episodes in my queue already. What’s really bugging me though is, when talks (2-3 people with each other) are sort of marketed as podcasts, but in the end it’s “just” a video of the talk / interview on YouTube. And even worse, they have a tab that says “podcast” but it’s still not.

Not in the way I think of a podcast: an audiofile which I can download to listen to without having to watch it. Like… in the car. Out walking.

TV: In a few days there will be new seasons of “Nobody Wants This” and “The Diplomat” I’ve spent the last few days rewatching both shows to be up-to-date. The Trailer for “The Diplomat” looks like it’s going to be a great season.

Scottish Memory: Ever since I discovered Sheila Fleet Jewellery in the shop at Urquart Castle many many years ago, I loved some of her themed jewellery and have bought a few rings and pendants over the years. One silver ring I sadly had misplaced / lost in a public restroom at some point and never got back. The line of the design was discontinued so I couldn’t even order it again. I had bought a new pendant in the store in St. Andrews and was looking for a silver ring similar to the one I lost in Edinburgh. The one I chose – called “Stacking Waves” – didn’t actually go up to the size I wanted it in, but as this jewellery is handmade in Orkney, the lovely sales lady assured me, it shouldn’t be a problem to have one ring made one size bigger. It was delivered today and made me very happy.

Lyrics: “The Way I Tend To Be” – Frank Turner, 2013

In a message to a friend this weekend I said “I’ve been back at work for a week and feel like I could use time off again”. Which was meant hyperbolically. More or less. My mind is all over the place once again. I still haven’t sorted / edited all my Scotland photos to put them all together in a post here. I sometimes wonder what’s the point. The whole existential “what am I / do I want to be doing with this space here” question. I have some vague ideas, which I might try out next week. We’ll see.

Instead of time off I’m working with a mix of “mini break” and “microdosing delight”, the latter a concept from Dr. Rachel Barr.

Mini-Break in form of not driving home from the office on a Friday afternoon, but grab a bite to eat and go to the movies. Mini-Break in form of a gig on Saturday evening. Where I had planned to arrive early enough to have dinner at a restaurant and not just McDonalds, but a jammed motorway and full car parks threw a spanner in that plan. Cue a tiny internal meltdown / freakout, whatever you want to call it. But after that I was doing ok and felt grateful that I can handle these moments so much better than I used to. I found free on street parking elsewhere and it all was fine in the end and didn’t let all that ruin the evening.

The movie: “One Battle After Another”. I had seen the trailer and thought it was interesting enough and I sort of like Leo diCaprio, but hadn’t read anything more about the movie as such. Sometimes I think it’s good to go and see a movie without knowing too much about it from reviews and such. Sometimes I think it’s better to know what you’re getting into. I still don’t though know if it had been a different movie experience had I known more before. I liked parts of it, parts were a bit weird. All in all I wasn’t quite sure what that film was supposed to be. It was parts critical social / political commentary on the sad and scary state of the US. That part sort of worked for me, even though the lighthearted / comic approach sometimes felt too shallow for such a serious topic. In my eyes it also tried to be a satire about the racist/ White Power / nationalist militia movement, which didn’t quite work for me. It was all too on the nose, the characters too much of a caricature. The part that worked best for me was the satire about the other side of the spectrum, the middle aged, former lefty revolutionists, stuck in their old-times revolutionary ways. And Leo must have enjoyed playing a stoned, stumbling 50 years old and the revolutionary hotline bit through half of the movie was really quite funny. But all in all… a kind of weird movie.

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The gig: Tim Vantol and his band, who played a ~ 300 cap club in Cologne. I haven’t seen Tim play a show in a while, the dates or locations never quite worked out for me. It was a good gig, live music always helps to brighten a day. But OMG it was so loud. I have no idea why that was or why noone else in the club seemed to mind. As I do these days I was wearing earplugs but I still found the volume unbearable in the first few rows where I started the show. I moved to the back, where it was (more) bearable. No idea how the rest of the audience managed it all, as I did see more than enough without any kind of (visible) ear protection. Their loss, I guess.

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While I was away in Scotland autumn really arrived here in Germany and I haven’t taken any nice photos of colourful foliage yet. I’m afraid it might start being too late soon, so this morning I went out for a walk while listening to a podcast. It was a grey morning, but a bit of colour helped. Microdosing delight and all that. And I won’t beat myself up for having a wrong setting on my camera and thus messing up the first few photos and not noticing it till long after.

I’ve been home from Scotland for a few days now. Most of the time all I did was being lazy and reading the latest Inspector Lynley novel, which I finished late last night. I thought I might start my vacation recap(s) with the main reason I decided to go on vacation in Scotland: Frank Turner’s Lost Evenings Festival VIII in Edinburgh last week. And before I delve a bit more into the wonderful gigs and experiences and my 4 minutes on that Lost Evenings stage, I’d like to share a few words on the fact that the festival will be held in Dallas, Texas next year. 

I had and still have many of thoughts on that. Thoughts which stand in conflict with each other to some degree. Thoughts on Frank’s lengthy statement on why Dallas, Texas of all places and what I thought was lacking from it. Thoughts on how the online discourse about this decision was conducted, at least the bits and pieces I saw. At first I did not want say anything about it online. Last night after all I tried writing my thoughts down, but it turned into a convoluted and preachy piece and was rather passive aggressive towards some of who’ve been commenting about it. And I didn’t like that about myself, so that text was binned. 

In short: I have sort of come around to the idea of it being held in Texas next year. I won’t be going, but I haven’t been to either of the ones held in North America so far and I most probably will never be attending one even if it was held in the most liberal city in Canada.

What helped me shift my – at first very critical – perspective about Dallas were comments left on one of the many Facebook posts about it. I don’t recall which post and I won’t wade back into the cesspit to find it. But these comments were a reminder that the idea of Lost Evenings had always been to bring this particular festival and all it entails – panels, open mic, fundraising, community, making friends, hearing 84 different Frank songs in a row – to as many people in as many different regions as possible. The fact that a (small) subsection of the larger fan community is willing (and able !!) to travel from all over the world or even just from one coast to the other and by doing that year after year have quickly created a “global / international LE community” is a wonderful side-effect. But possibly – I’m having a wild guess here – that might not have been Frank’s main intention with this travelling festival concept. Again referring to the comments I mentioned above: If gathering the same global community year after year had been the main purpose, he could have just started doing “Frank Turner Festival Cruises”. Which also makes people travel from all over the world to gather in one location – a cruise ship – to experience 4 days of live music and community and all that. That furthermore is an already well established concept and probably much easier to pull off than organizing a festival in a different place each year. As someone who works in the climate action field I object to the festival cruise concept with a passion and I’m very glad Lost Evenings doesn’t fall in that category, but that’s just me. 

So, maybe let’s all take a step back and think for a moment about why Frank wants to do the festival in a different location each year. And consider that it might not (always) be about gathering the same global fan community in a (different) room somewhere each year? 

I have more thoughts on all of it, but this was the one I felt was missing in most of the online discourse I’ve seen.

Stepping off the soapbox now. 

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Lost Evenings in Edinburgh! Plus one of the warm-up shows in Aberdeen. I had a great time all in all. Due to the festival venue being a bit outside the city and our accommodation being on the other side of the city, I didn’t really partake in any of the usual festival community stuff like I used to at previous festivals. I had consider going to the “Writing Panel” on day 2, but I knew the room would be small and getting in would have meant coming to the venue and start queuing before 11 probably. Which meant that I would have to leave “home” before 10. By the end of night 1 I knew that I would be too exhausted to make myself to do that. I admit I wasn’t too keen on many of the support bands or the acts on the NA stage, so most of the nights we didn’t make it to the venue until 7 or 7.30. After Doors anyway. So I didn’t have all that much of the festival community experience this time and hadn’t said Hi to as many people I knew from previous gigs. Next time in 2027, right? But also there was more to do and see in Edinburgh. Some of which will be shared – via photos at least – in a different post later. 

By the end of night 1 my friend and I ran into Bryan from Koo Koo. My friend has known them for years and because Bryan is such a nice guy and because we know no-one really gets embarrassed or shamed during the silly games on stage, we let him talk us into being part of it on the last night. For the next three days I was surprisingly chill about the prospect of stepping on stage in front of 3.000 people and doing a silly “air bagpipe competition”. Yes, we had been told in advance so we spent that Sunday morning browsing some of the tackier souvenir shops on the Royal Mile for cheap accessoires. I still wasn’t too nervous when we were brought backstage and given last instructions plus a few sips of Buckfast to fortify us. I think by then it might have been the adrenaline that kept my nerves calm. Adrenaline because I was about to make a fool of myself by pretending to play bagpipes in a silly Scottish costume in front of 3.000 people. Potentially also being witnessed by Frank & the Sleeping Souls in the wings. And I didn’t really care.

From the first three nights and previous festivals where I saw Koo Koo do similar stuff, I knew that the crowd would be kind and the reaction would be positive. At Lost Evenings we are a community of like minded people after all. So I wasn’t really scared if I looked stupid. I mean, I KNEW I looked stupid, but I also knew no-one down in the crowd would care. It was fun! It was also over before I knew it and in less than 4 minutes we were shepherded back from the stage, while Frank Turner and the Sleeping Souls entered the stage from the other side. How absolutely surreal! We took a quick photo with Koo Koo backstage and when we were led back to the space where we left our things I had last glimpse of Callum and then “Eulogy” started. An absolute crazy experience.

I am so glad I stepped out of my comfortzone and allowed myself too look silly in front of 3.000 (very friendly) people. I mean, how many people can say they have stood on and have gotten a round of applause on a Lost Evenings stage? 

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I stopped doing gig recaps years ago, so I won’t be starting with that again, but here is a tiny recap and some memories from the five shows I’ve seen while I was in Scotland. I went up to Aberdeen for the first warm-up show on Sunday 21st. The main reason for that was that it was my show #75 and I wanted that to happen at a smaller, more memorable place than the first night of Lost Evenings. It’s nerdy and silly, I know, but what can I say. I also had a chance to briefly chat to Frank after that gig, which is always nice and I admit I had hoped for that being possible after the smaller gigs.

That warm-up show was about half of the setlist of night 1 – Back in the Day. I admit I had expected a few more proper vintage rarities and B-sides that night and all, but it was still a amazing start to the festival. Frank wore a kilt! 

Night 2 – Acoustic Duo will be stored in my memory for a loooooong looooong time. Afterwards I said, that it might have been my favourite Frank Turner show so far, 12 years and 77 shows in. And I stand by that! Not necessarily because it was the perfect setlist, as there are always a few songs I don’t care for as much as I do care about others. But even the songs that weren’t among my favourites I liked fine. The magic of that night was that the whole room knew and sang along to all the words to all the good old classics. The songs about community and friendship and resilience. The old anthems about keep fighting the good fight (Thatcher Fucked the Kids, Love, Ire & Song…) There also were most of my favourite songs from No Man’s Land (Jinny Bingham, William Blake…). Not all that many people knew all the words as well as I did, but that didn’t stop me from singing along from the top of my lungs. I usually can only do that in my car. What a perfect, perfect night! 

Night 3 – Positive Songs For Negative People and songs from that era. It was great show as well, because the album has a few great singalong songs and it comes with a lot of memories. That album tour was the first proper one after I had discovered Frank in late 2013 and thus holds a special set of memories.

Night 4 – Bagpipes (see above) and a Greatest Hits Set and also some of the new album stuff, which all in all always makes for a great night. 

All in all a great weekend and the memory of night 2 will definitely help me through potentially darker times for a while. Thanks for that Frank Turner.