Back To Shore

Lyrics “1933” – Frank Turner, 2016

For way too long we – as many in the German society and politics and government – have thought that the neo-fascist party AfD could be contained and that they wouldn’t be able to actually destroy the pillars of democracy and an open society.

Right after reports on the secret meeting between neo-fascists activists, neo-fascist and conservative politicians and businessmen were published about a week ago, I thought about joining a anti-fascist protest happening the next day in a town about 90 minutes away. I couldn’t bring myself to be that active that weekend.

Since then many many people all over Germany took to the streets in protest and on Friday evening I joined a protest in the metropolitan region I work in. I’m glad that I did, because there is comfort and safety in numbers and there were so many people. So many different people, which also was a joy to see: the lefty punks. The old to middle aged liberals. Middle aged women who mentioned that this was their first protest ever. Family in all shapes, sizes and age: parents with teenager and parents with baby strollers. I saw an elderly woman with walker. It was amazing.

On the march itself I caught myself being a bit judge-y towards all those people who were still going on about their business on the shopping streets, sitting in fast-food restaurants and all. Why didn’t they just join in? Didn’t they care? But I know that was a very simplistic and privileged way of thinking.

I didn’t stay till the end of the protest. There were supposed to be many more speeches held at a 2nd stop before the march completed the circle back to the main station. I admit I was freezing and I wanted to get away before the crowds would hit the metro. But I also wasn’t in the mood for yet more middle class left-wing rhetoric. Don’t get me wrong, I am middle class and left-wing, but I was a bit fed up with it that day.

I’m worried about the situation, but I don’t have any answers or solutions – neither quick ones nor lasting ones – and that of course adds to my worry. Because yes, now a lot of people are out there protesting and that’s awesome, but that’s not a lasting solution. It won’t change many or any neo-fascists / right-wing voters mind. It won’t change the mind of any the frustrated and disenfranchised voters, who vote for the neo-fascist out of that frustration and because the neo-fascists present simple solutions and false promises.

Some rambling thoughts on all that:

The other parties and all levels of government need to prepare for the neo-fascist AfD winning the majority of seats in three federal states later this year. Which could lead to some standstill in federal governance and implementation of right-wing policies on state level. I hope they have a plan to implement stop gates like protecting the constitutional courts, but right now I’m worried they might not have.

In my opinion we also need a drastic change in policies and political communication to reach those disenfranchised voters. Everywhere! I recently saw an Insta Story on how well the neofasicsts use TikTok to spread their message and reach the young(er) voters and how the mainstream parties have no idea how to counter that. That’s scary as shit, isn’t it? We can moan all we like about TikTok and how it destroys any sensible discourse and how it spreads hate: The fact is: it is what is happening and main stream parties need to get on it! What’s happening instead? Liberal ministers fire up the divide in society by pitting various groups against each others in a speech. Government cuts funding for social causes like youth centres and political education.

Talking about Social Media: On Instagram I muted stories for a few of the most active antifascist journalists today, because I was watching it all and it’s so much and it’s so important, but I lack impulse control so I spent too much time on this app. And that’s no good for anyone.

I’d rather spend the time reading newspaper articles offline and online about these issues and others, because it’s not as if the world stopped being a messed up place, just because Germany starts waking up the neofascist threat here at home.

Catching up | I used quite some time over the past two days to finally catch up with all the articles I tend to save in my bookmarks app to read later. Links to articles I see in newsletters or on social media. So so many articles. I need to get into a routine to not just save and save – like a squirrel before the winter comes – but to actually read those articles in time. Some were so out of date that I deleted the link unread, because global politics moved much faster than I read sometimes.

These day it is newsletters from various independent news organisations and social media (their accounts and others) were I get most of my news (articles) from. I also check and read what mainstream media, because I still mostly trust them. I only pay for one of those though whereas I have a paid subscription for at least 3 or 4 of the independent ones.

Books | When I wasn’t reading news articles on my laptop or phone, I was a deep into a proper book, ink on paper and such.

Here are two of my current reviews on Goodreads. Note that I made good on one of my (never publically shared) resolutions to start writing proper reviews on the website and not just a few words through the app.

Thieves’ Gambit: “A fast-paced YA thriller about a cutthroat competition for the world’s best thieves, including the teen girl who must win to save her parents’ lives.” My review ★★★

We Are The Brennans: “We Are the Brennans explores the staying power of shame―and the redemptive power of love―in an Irish Catholic family torn apart by secrets.” My review ★★★★★

I thought I should use the remainder of the long time off (a whole week still from today) to delve into one of the bigger books on my to-read-shelf. I sort of liked “Fourth Wing” and thus bought “Iron Flame” when it came out this summer.

Last night I read the first few pages of both of these books and came to a quick decision. “Homecoming” it is and I might just sell both the “The Empyrean” series in the near future. Because I did not remember a lot of the first book when I read those pages in the 2nd one last night. It all felt quite foreign to me and I didn’t feel the urge to skim through the first book again for a recap.

Other Entertainment | Bits and pieces of various podcasts, but my mind just couldn’t settle on one for long. But also Tim Burton’s “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” (Netflix), because I was planning to and will in fact tonight watch “Wonka” at the cinema. I found the trailer interesting enough when I first saw it this summer. But I thought I probably should watch “Charlie and…” first at least once, because I hadn’t done that yet. Neither have I read the book. I liked the movie fine, typical Tim Burton stuff. My first though when I saw Helena Bonham Carter and more so Johnny Depp was “They look young”. And then I looked up the year of the movie. 2005. Of course they look bloody young, they filmed it 20 years ago. And then I felt rather old, but I guess that’s just the way of life.

On Goodreads the novel “The Idea of You” by Robinne Lee comes with mixed reviews, most of them good but also a few scathing negative ones. What can I say? I had a wonderful time reading it and I did not expect this story to stay with me the way it did. I expected an interesting, slightly unique, but still mostly easy-going romance, with the typical “will they? / won’t they?” and typical tropes of roadblocks but still leading up to a happily ever after. And in parts it is exactly that and in so many parts it so very much isn’t. 

The premise is easily explained: Solene is a 39 year olds divorcee in LA, who takes her teenage daughter to a meet & greet with the boyband August Moon, where she meets 20 years old Hayes Campbell, the leading male band member. The attraction is instant and then a flirt turns into one-night-stand turns into a fling turns into a secret affair turns into a public relationship turns into…. 

Unrealistic premise? A little bit maybe, but I allow that in a novel more often than not. One thing that made me roll my eyes a bit and kept me from giving this five stars was that this attraction and romance could only work, because both Solene and Hayes were not the typical regular American middleclass mum or boy in a boyband, but more sophisticated. Solene’s parents are French professors at ivy league colleges, she runs a high-class art gallery in LA, jet-sets to various art fairs and events all over the world. Hayes and all the other boys in the band come from a rather posh background, public school, cultured, bound for Oxford or Cambridge and all that. Sometimes it all felt a bit too posh, the places they meet, the events they go to, the world they move in.

Another aspect that turned me off a tiny bit was that towards the end there was a bit much of complaining about sexism and misogyny and how women still have it harder in so many aspects of life. I agree and I get it, but I didn’t need it shoved down my throat as much as it felt like in last half or so of this story.

Apart from all of that though? OMG, this story broke my heart into tiny little pieces. Because spoiler alert: Of course there wasn’t a happily ever after. There never could have been as much as I’d rooted for them as both characters grew on me quickly. I rooted for Solene to follow through on the mutual attraction, because no-one would bat an eyelash if the gender roles were reversed and it were a 40 year old man hooking up with someone like Posh Spice. In the beginning even I caught myself thinking for millisecond “Is this weird? Does that feel icky?”. Deep-rooted internal misogyny at play here. They were two consenting adults. That’s all that matters. 

I loved that at the heart of the underlying and ongoing conflict wasn’t solely the age difference, but the fact, that a relationship between a guy in a super-successful (boy)band with fans camping outside the hotel and millions of followers on social media and a woman who is not part of the entertainment industry (art gallery or not) is doomed to fail. These kind of pop and rock stars lead such a different life and to me the story excels at portraying that realistically. I’m old enough to have witnessed the public and media frenzy about bands in the past decades. The current Robbie Williams documentary on Netflix also gave me some idea of that that life is like.

Here it was the paparazzi capturing the secret relationship after all, the unwanted attention Solene receives once the story gets out. The hate mail from rabid fans, the death threats. But also the bullying Isabelle, the teenage daughter has to endure once the story breaks, which is a big part of why Solene ends the relationship. There is one moment towards the end where the age difference comes into play quite starkly, when Solene encounters a crying underaged girl in the hotel hallway in the middle of the night. The girl had lied about her age to hook up with one of the other band members. Solene gets into full mother-mode to help the girl, while Hayes only worries about possible implication for the band and himself if this comes out. And both sides are equally valid from their respective points of view and where they both are in their lives at that time. And in the end that was the clincher: Hayes – as much as he was in love with Solene – still had so much to learn and to grow to be able to become the man he could be.

I will re-read parts of this story tonight. That’s how much my mind is still reeling with it. Oh and the fact that I was fantasizing about what I would have loved to see happen after. Not in a happy-end for them together, but a happy-end for either of them a decade later and both of them acknowledging what lead them to this. My mind was spinning with picturing elaborate scenarios to the extent that I decided to not just keep daydreaming about it, but trying to write it down. Fanfic for a novel? Never done that before, but that won’t stop me. Wish me luck…