125/2024 – “Paralysed by Decisions, but Also Crushed by Inactivity”

Lyrics: “Pandemic PTSD” – Frank Turner, 2024

The new Frank Turner album “Undefeated” is definitely growing on me, as I have listened to the album in full 3-4 times over the last 36 hours and some songs even more than that. A more detailed review is pending. I need some more time for that.

Frank not only manages to still find words that still resonate with me at that stage where I am in my life at the moment. His candor about his innermost feelings also inspires me to more often and more earnestly try putting my own emotions and feelings and thoughts and fears and all that troublesome mess in my head into words. On paper. For my eyes only, but that’s difficult enough sometimes.

Samstag, 04. Mai 2024 written in a journal.  A fountain pen poised beneath
Pick up that pen and paper

I thought about still sharing a tiny insight into my mind by doing a play by play of my every-day (non-)decision-making process running in my mind. But then thought better of it. But “paralysed by decisions, crushed by inactivity” often comes close to it. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by simple decision making process, which leads to inactivity, which leads to self-flagellation. I’m working on it.

Anyway, I got some things done today at least. After I had a bit of a lie-in, because when I got home around midnight last night I had one last look on social media and saw that the “Undefeated – album play by play” on X-Posure with John Kennedy was about to start. So instead of going to sleep, I went to bed with the radio on (in the app on my phone) for the next 90 or more minutes. It was cool to have Frank talk about each song in more detail though and definitely worth it.

I’ve also started noting down the first items for “Frank Turners Lyrical History of Mankind – Undefeated Edition”. There are indeed a few, thought I’m not sure I’ll include all of them, because if something is commonly used as a metaphor, can it’s origin still be considered a historical reference? Or is it just a metaphor? I don’t have my CD yet, so I have to rely on lyrics website to go through the written lyrics, which is something I usually avoid and prefer to check with the original source. Those are not up on Frank’s website yet either.

He’s busy doing other right now – “Official World Record Attempt to Play the Most gigs in different cities in 24 hours”. Someone and their followers are giving Frank and his team a bit of a hard time about it all at the moment and have been for the past few days. I try to not follow the online debate and comments and all too much and to just not check those posts and threads and all. Just stay away from it. But it’s hard! I need to learn more self-control. At least I’m not getting into the fray by trying to argue with those people or reply to their posts/comments, so that’s a start.

Even though a new album and a world record attempt allows a bit more fangirling than usual, let’s stop with that (for now). What other kind of “media use” (in the broadest sense) besides listening to Frank’s music (and an interview) have there been for me today?

Frankfurter Allgemeine Sonntagszeitung und Wochentaz
Weekend Newspapers

I once again bought weekend editions of two papers, because I actually enjoyed reading those last weekend and earlier this week. Not the “Süddeutsche Zeitung” (social-liberal) this time, because I’ve already subscribed to their digital content, which often overlaps. Again the “Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung” (liberal-conservative) to read news reported from a bit outside of my “shit-lib, woke” bubble. But also the “taz”, which is the biggest paper on the left.

If I do that again next week I should share a photo after I sorted the various sections of each paper into the order that I’m planning to read them, because I never start with the front and just read till the back. Does anyone actually do that? Or is it just me who (often) starts with skimming the least interesting to me like “Sports” or “Feuilleton”. Then reads the first / main section, which often is current affairs and such. I then usually do “Business”, “Politics” and end with all the other sections, in an oder depending on which focus this week interest me the most. I’ve always read my newspapers this way and can’t really say why? I don’t think I’ve copied that behaviour from my dad, who was an avid newspaper-reader himself. But he passed away before I really got interested in the news and current affairs and such.

The other media use was listening to the latest episode of the “10% Happier” podcast which focused on self-compassion and how to change how we talk to ourselves. It always helps to get routines and strategies I actually already know about brought back into the spotlight a bit more. Now I just need to keep practising it.

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