Lyrics: “We Shall Not Overcome” – Frank Turner, 2013
For as long as I can remember I have been a fan-type of person. Being a fan of some kind of media mostly: movies, TV shows, music. My first proper – more active – fandom was music-related: Roxette from the early 1990 till around 2000. From the early 2000 till around 2015 I had sports fan phase as well, where I was very much into watching ice-hockey in the German premier hockey league, but also travel around to see the national team compete at world championships. But mostly my various fandom activities centred around TV shows. In the olden days – before the internet – being a fan was kind of a solitary and passive activity. I tried to catch every episode of my shows. I was happy about reruns. It got a bit easier once VCR and such became more common place. I spent a lot of time thinking about / imaging plots and or characters development. In my head I wrote lots of “will they / won’t they” kind of romance stories before I had ever heard the term “fanfiction”.
The advent of the internet and its opportunity to find and connect with like-minded people to some extent changed how I was a fan. I joined and was an active member of a TV show fanclub for a while. I started and ran a fanpage for another TV show after that. I spent much time on fan forums / message boards, shared my thoughts on all kinds of stuff in long forum messages and later in blog posts. I met people online and from there in real life who shared my passion for these TV shows. Over the years as my fan interest changed, I lost touch with most of those people and that’s fine. But I am also still friends with some, whom I’ve met online 25 years ago, because we liked the same TV show. And I know that’s a bit insane, but in the best way possible!
Probably my latest proper TV addiction was Outlander, though that started with the books long before the TV show. And to be honest it’s still and will be ongoing with the books. Long before the TV show I here as well came up with my own ideas of how I’d like certain plots to continue within the canon. For instance, before “An Echo in Bone” came out in 2010 I had come up with my own scenario of how Jamie and William would meet for the first time. I like how that happened in the book in the end and by now I couldn’t really tell you how my version had been. But I definitely had spent quite some time and thought on it. I was super hyped about the TV show for the first few years, but was not as active in the fandom, because it’s sooooo huge and global and all. My interest in the TV show also lessened since they started to depart from the book plots more than I liked. But in the “early days” I was still all in. In 2016 I did spend quite a bit of a vacation in Scotland in 2016 to visit the various location they used for filming up to that point. And that was amazing.
Last week I mentioned that I had been at a TV convention. When during one of panels a fan delivered an emotional and teary “this show changed my life, because it taught me to believe in myself” kind of statement, my first impulse was to cringe and think that’s crazy / sad / a bit pathetic. Immediately after that thought had popped up though, I felt quite ashamed for two reasons. For one: I did “crazy” things because of TV show as well. Like travel to film locations in Scotland :-). Start a fanpage. Be an extra on a sitcom and so much more. My “crazies” were mostly superficial or self-indulgent, without any fundamental life-changing revelations, but other could and did consider them a bit strange as well, I’m sure.
But more importantly, I felt ashamed, because in the past decade I have made many, many statements of similar sentiment about Frank Turner’s music. I’m well aware that many people don’t or can’t understand how songs or a singer/songwriter can have such an impact on my life. I’m well aware that people might think it’s weird to go and see so many concerts of the same band. But I have experienced such a positive, empowering – call it life changing impact on my life – through Frank’s music / gigs / fandom community. So, who am I to judge if others had similar empowering experiences by for instance watching Eowyn – a woman – kill the Witch-King in “Lord of the Rings”? There were a few more similar stories about how these movies / TV show have inspired people to go and try new things and such and I think that’s amazing and applaudable!
The panel with two young actors from “Shadow & Bone” – Jack Wolfe and Kit Young also shone a light on the importance of representation of people of colour, queer people and how amazing and empowering it is to feel seen, because that character on this TV show is just like yourself. Again, that’s sort of like what I have experienced through having found Frank’s music. I have written extensively about how I can relate so well to so much of the emotional turmoil he so often touches on in his songs. How I never was able to articulate it and how grateful I was and still am that Frank is providing the words for it. I know that some or many people can’t relate to my experience and don’t quite get what Frank’s music (and others as well, but his in particular) mean to me. And that’s ok. After a decade the people in my life have grown used to it. And I’ve grown to not feel ashamed weird about it. And if other people feel seen and empowered by a TV show / movie in a similar way: Good for them.
T – 4 days till I’ll be in the crowd / at the barrier in front of a stage where Frank Turner & the Sleeping Souls will play some songs. I can’t wait!
