Back To Shore

I’m sure I mentioned earlier this month, that I stopped rating the books on a 1-5 stars or any other scale. Inspired by something Christian wrote here (in German). In May I’ve read 12 books! To be fair 11.75, because I just finished the last one today, but I’ll count that as a May book. Four of the 12 – 33% – also were super short stories, which only count as “book”, because they are released as standalone ebook, I think. Anyway.

Even if I don’t rate book as such anymore, I’ll now share them in order of how much I enjoyed reading them. Favourite first, obviously.

The Guncle, Steven Rowley, 2021
I came across this one through a recommendation (on Instagram?) for the sequel and of course I thought I should start with this (first) one. I didn’t read the summary too carefully or I would have clocked that tragedy equals tears. Lots of tears on my part. OMG. Maybe it was a book I needed right now. It’s not just sad though, far from it, it’s also very funny and warm and life-affirming. Definitely one of my favourite reads this year so far.

The Chronicles of St. Mary’s, Jodi Taylor, 2013 – 2023
I’ve read the first 4 (of 14) so far plus the forementioned short stories between those books, which make up 8 of the 12. I won’t include all the reviews for all the books here. I very much enjoy exploring this universe and the trips up and down (mostly down) the timeline of our history. Reading them back to back can be a bit overwhelming though, because stories and plot tend to blend in to each other. Starting with different worlds / universes in book 4 didn’t help to make it less confusing, but it’s been a lot of fun so far.

What Happened to Ruthy Ramirez, Claire Jiménez, 2023
This was a powerful story about siblings and families and also for me a valuable insight into the difficult life of a Puerto Rican family in the US, doing their best to get by. It’s mostly told from the point of view of Ruthy’s older and younger sisters and while the drive of the story of course was to find Ruthy or get her back, we also learned a lot about what it is like to grow up in the US, when you’re not part of the white middle-class. It also made me feel sad for all the thousands or more “Ruthy’s” who disappear every year in the US and elsewhere. I thought the whole reality show bit – including the showdown – was a bit over-the-top and often silly. I don’t know anything about the current state of reality shows., though. Maybe they actually are like that.

The Violin Conspiracy, Brendan Slocumb, 2022
I enjoyed this one for the most part as a story of a young black man who overcomes many obstacles to succeed in the classical music world. I’m well aware that it’s a privileged perspective to say that the blatant racism he faces (based on real life experience of the author) surprised and shocked me. And it broke my heart from time to time. I don’t know a lot about classical music, but I tried to listen to the pieces that are mentioned in this novel while reading it and I enjoyed that as well. The ending of the story left me a bit underwhelmed though, to find out who stole the violin and why. But all in all an entertaining and informative read for me.

The Great Divide, Cristina Henríquez, 2024
I had written a review, accidentally deleted it (long story) and couldn’t be bothered to type it all again. I enjoyed learning more about that period of time in that region of the world. On the one hand I liked the writing and the various points of views and the small insights into the people’s past and future. On the other hand there were so many people and points of view, that it was hard to get attached to anyone.

This is basically just a proxy post to keep the photos I took in Hamburg in May

Lyrics : “Somewhere Inbetween” – Frank Turner, 2024

Welcome to another – maybe by now almost regular – “Post Frank Turner gig introspection” posts. While I was – a bit aimlessly – strolling through Hamburg today, I spent a lot of time in my own head, but not in a bad way.

The gig last night was great, albeit a short one, just one hour long. But I expected that going in, as it was a two shows day for Frank. He played about half of the new album “Undefeated”, some rarer old ones and of course “the hits”. I had fun and it seemed so did Frank on stage.

I’m sure I have mentioned a few times before, that when I first started going to Frank gigs it took me a while to chat with the people around me. Once I started heading for the barrier and being in the queue early to be able to get to the barrier, of course I met some people over and over again. I also met other fans online and then at shows and all that. After over 10 years it’s safe to say that I know quite a few people by now and am known to probably even more. By face and/or online moniker at least. After the first tour in 2016 where I went to several gigs and first encountered the same people at the barrier night after night I at some point wrote that I hadn’t found my “people” yet. (Which isn’t true anymore, but that’s a different story). But most of those people who along with me were/are queueing early and hanging around for a while after to catch Frank, seem(ed) to be quite different from me. Listening to a variety of  punk or rock music. Knowing so much more about it. Going to many more gigs of all kinds of bands. In short being the epitome of “dedicated punkrock music person”.

I am not that person. Frank is as punk as I can tolerate it and I know some might laugh now, because they don’t consider his music punk at all or not anymore. And I guess my line is not drawn as strict as that sounds. I like some punk bands as well. I’ll see Pet Needs in Cologne later this month! But I don’t listen to a vast array of new or old bands. These days I only occasionally go and see live music. Frank is the only one that makes me go as often and travel as far to gigs and that has a lot to with how much his music means to me. If I’m honest it all basically comes down to that. I have fun singing and dancing at the occasional gig of other bands / artists. But the experience of joining in with a crowd to sing those particular words which help(ed) me and speak to me on so many levels and to sing them back to the person who wrote those words, is the element of Frank gigs that feed my heart and soul.

That was an unexpected tangent.

Anyway, sometimes – like last night – when I’m in the queue or at the barrier listening to the people around me, chatting to the people around me (yes, I do that more easily by now) or hanging around outside the venue after the show, a nagging voice in my head likes to tell me that I don’t really belong there with these other “dedicated music people”. That I’m a fraud. Not worthy of a spot at the barrier or less worthy of a moment of Frank’s limited time after the show, because I don’t go to other gigs all the time and I don’t have encyclopaedic knowledge of other punk / rock music or bands. Years ago that voice would have managed to fuel my post-gig-blues and in the worst case sometimes even ruin my night. Three cheers for my round of therapy (I think), which by now enables me to recognize that voice for the lying, nasty, self-destructive goblin that she is. That enables me to just not believe her and mostly ignore her.

These days I also ponder where that goblin gets her nasty opinions from. Which sort of was why I spent so much time in my head today, trying to figure that out. I’m not sure I made all that much progress, at least not more than I did in therapy, but that’s fine as well. All in all the pondering today at least did refresh and consolidate all the things I learned in therapy.

I did call this post my “Post Frank Turner gig introspection” for a reason. At the “No Man’s Land” tour (on the Live from Newcastle album) Frank mentions that his songs are/were a form of “public therapy”. So are these posts for me in a way, I think. Be grateful that I won’t try to put those thoughts to music…

Tomorrow on the train ride home I’ll try to write some more about my short stay here in Hamburg. For now I’ll leave you with two photos taken a few minutes ago on the lovely roof terrace of the place I’m staying at.