Back To Shore

Since February I have been going to the cinema more often. The main reason was that a UK friend told me they had signed up for a 3-months “Unlimited Card” at their cinema and I looked into if the multiplex chain over here offered a similar deal. And they did. It’s 19,90 € / month and if I go to see two movies a month I’m already saving money.

So I signed up, because I actually do enjoy the cinema quite a lot, but haven’t been going as much as I used to many, many, years ago. There are reasons for that of course. In parts it’s lack of time, even though I could have made time for it. Then there was the steep rise in tickets prices (at the multiplex most of all). If I wanted I could also blame the lack of interesting films, but that’s only partially true or a reason. Because decades ago I used to watch all kind of films and not all of them were all that good. If I’m honest sometimes I’m prone to inertia, as in getting in the car to go to the movies feels like too much hassle these days. It’s not as if I’m watching / streaming a lot of movies at home either though.

Anyway, I thought I should do something about it: Battle the inertia and also try to recover some of the film – loving part of me. When I was at uni 25 odd years ago, I was going to that multiplex several times a month. With friends on the weekend. With another student during the week for “sneak previews” where the tickets were half-price (if even that) and you never knew what you were getting into.

One thing that has changed though is that these days I do prefer to watch movies in the “not dubbed in German” version. I guess I can blame the language options of all the streaming services for that. And there’s often only one movies shown in the original English and it’s not always the one I want to watch. Which also might lead to me going to see more German movies or see a movie in English in a different cinema (and pay for it then), like I did yesterday.

Anyway here is a quick run down (from latest to first) of the movies I’ve seen in the past few weeks:

Eden (5 April, in a small 20 seat theatre)
This was based on true events from the 1930s where a couple of Europeans try to settle on an island in the Galapagos. Wikipedia calls it a survival thriller, but that doesn’t do it justice. It is much more an intense study of the human psyche: What drives us? What separates us and what brings us together? I thought the trailer was interesting and the movie didn’t disappoint (me). It also had a few surprising twists and turns in the end.

Heldin (16 March, Multiplex)
This Swiss/German production has a documentary vibe, as it follows a female hospital nurse through one shift. There isn’t all that much happening, but it gave me a really good insight into the working life of hospital staff. I’ve basically only ever been on the other side – as family member of someone in hospital – and I’ve complained and bitched about staff to some degree. So this was a helpful reminder to see the other side. And with lack of staff and lack of resources it’s not a pretty side.

Mickey 17 (5 March, Multiplex)
I kind of like Robert Pattinson, even though I haven’t really seen all that many films with him, I think. I admire that he managed to withdraw from the hype after Twilight and pick a variety of roles even though he probably could have easily build a career on heart throb / hero roles. He was awesome in the film and so were the other actors. Mark Ruffalo was doing such an amazing Trump impersonation in his role and he didn’t even have to dye his hair blond for it. I thought the sci-fi plot idea of identity and such was a good one. Bu I wasn’t such a fan of the creatures on the planet to be honest and I might not have picked the movie had they been featured more prominently in the trailer.

A Complete Unknown (1 March, Multiplex)
I admit I only know Dylan’s greatest hits. I know that his music played a big role in the US peace movement in the 1960s. I know he’s got a Nobel Prize and that he’s got a reputation to be difficult. I thought the movie was a good way to educate myself a bit more and it was. I like that Bob Dylan doesn’t necessarily come of as the good guy in this one. To be honest, I thought he was kind of asshole a lot of time. As a Frank Turner fangirl of course I compared Dylan’s ethos about performing to an audience to Frank’s and I’m glad Frank is more appreciative of his audience, to put it mildly. But the 1960s were a different time of course as well. I put Joan Baez on the list of musicians I need to learn more about after watching this. Timothee and Edward Norton played and sang all the parts in the film themselves, which was quite impressive.

Wunderschöner (15 February, Multiplex, before I got the Unlimited Card)
A sequel to a German movie success from a few years ago. A sort of interconnected multi-episodes movie about women of various ages and professions and relationships. I hadn’t seen the first one at the cinema back then so had to watch it on Amazon first, but I had seen the trailer a few times and thought I might like it. And I did, even though this sequel now was more serious than the first one. Still very funny but in parts it felt like the female director (and lead actress) tried a bit too hard to comment on everything that’s making womens’ lives to hard these days. Still a great and enjoyable movie.

I’ve seen quite a few trailers for new movies as well. Some trailers over and over again, which is no surprise. There are a lot of “let’s make a sequel / retell the same story” movies out this year. Paddington. Bridget Jones. Karate Kid. Plus variations of Marvel movies of all kinds. I’m not interested in Bridget Jones, but the Karate Kid trailer is starting to wear me down. I might want to watch the original movie first, because I don’t think I’ve seen this back in the day or since. But I’m not sure. It’s been a long time ago.

Anyway, I’m quite happy that I was able to recover some of my passion for the cinema again. I hope it’ll last.

Lyrics: “Letter To Myself” – The Lottery Winners, 2023

Oh look, it’s already over a week since I posted here last. I’ve been busy. You know. Work. Life. Sadly not in any balance. Plus the whole.. everything. Everywhere. Again, you know what I mean. Anyway: let’s tell you a little bit about the The Lottery Winners gig I saw in sold-out venue in Cologne on Saturday, 15th March. Sold out! 450 people, I think. Which is about 10x the amount of he audience they played to the last time I saw them in Cologne in autumn 2023. How times have changed. Next time headlining Palladium in Cologne? A girl can dream, right?

The show was lots of fun, because Thom (lead singer) is talking to and interacting with the audience a lot. I think it’s palpable that the four members of the band are close and old friends, they enjoy experiencing this together. I remember other bands (not naming any names), where (by the end of their band career) they didn’t really interact with each other at all. Not the Lottery Winners, they are having the best of times together. 

At some point Thom was wondering, where all the people knew them from and he said “Nickelback, I guess?”, because they were a support on Nickelbacks’s last tour in mainland Europe and I saw quite a few in Nickelback swag in the audience. In protest to that assessment, I pointed to the FTHC shirt I was wearing and Rob (guitar) at least noticed that, because I stood right in front of him and he gave me a thumbs up. 

Later on Thom was talking about [Instagram link] how his biggest talent is doing things – being on stage, sharing his emotions through songs and all – despite being scared about doing those things. But doing them anyway. 

By the end of the gig he then asked for six volunteers to do a dance routine on stage with them and I found myself raising my arm. Half of me was scared about embarrassing myself up there, because I’m a klutz. The other half was determined to do it anyway. I then was picked indeed and climbed up and did the routine, which I sort of already knew, so it wasn’t such a big deal. But OMFG! If you had told me I’d do something like that a decade ago, when I started out as introvert, hyper self-conscious, worrying (Frank Turner) fangirl, I would have said “No way!” If you’d told me I’d do something like that 5 years ago, I probably still would have said “No way!”. Look how far I’ve come. Go Me!

I haven’t found any photo or video proof of it all online (yet), I’m not joining The Lottery Winners Facebook group just for that. I don’t need proof that I did it. I know I did. (And I’ve got a photo of the crowd from the stage to prove it). The Instagram post I shared above has a bit of the routine, but it’s filmed centre stage from behind the volunteers and I was at the right side, out of the frame. 

Anyway, it was a fun night. Next time I see the Lottery Winners they will open for Robbie Williams in a stadium. Far far far away from my seat up on the side somewhere. But I can’t wait to see them win over the next big crowd.  

Lyrics: “Pass It Along” – Frank Turner, 2011

It’s been a bit over a week since I joined about 10.000 people on a pilgrimage to Alexandra Palace – the only not royal palace in England (according to the man on stage, I haven’t verified it) – to see Frank Turner play his 3000th show. Three thousand! That sounds like a lot. And it is, even though there are supposed to be bigger bands who have played even more. I do think though, that those bands have been around for even longer than Frank has been doing this as under his own name and not as part of a band.

Anyway: I’ve been along for the ride since show 1447, so you could say I’ve been along for over half of it! Which only is a valid statement if you consider the number of show or the length of time, of course. Frank played his first solo show 21 years ago. I first saw him almost 12.5 years ago, which is over half the time ago. I’ve not seen half of the shows. Only 2.46 % of his total. Or 4.76% of the ones he played since my first show. But numbers don’t mean anything really. (It’s been my show 74, for those who are interested)

These days at a regular (not festival) gig I try to be up front at the barrier more often than not, but I knew I would not consider that for this show. I also was coming with a friend, who isn’t interested in being up front, so we stayed back near the sound desk. And to be honest, I was fine with that, because 10.000 people in a standing room is a lot of people in a vast space. I don’t know if it’s still a bit of underlying “Pandemic PTSD” but the crowd that night made me a tiny bit anxious. Fo no reason really, the corner where we ended up in, was not rowdy at all and a good place to be. 

I admit for some reason I had expected a bit more of a “greatest hits” set for this celebratory occasion, but I can see that for Frank himself it also made sense to treat this one as almost a regular gig. He does this for a living and he is still touring the latest album, so the set mostly was a regular current tour set, which was fine by me.

After the show numbers countdown Frank came out with just his guitar and played the first two songs solo with a lot of old photos from the early days shown on the screens (behind the stage and left and right). Even though I wasn’t a part of the early days I got a bit sentimental / borderline weepy. I did not cry though. But the opener “The Ballad of Me and My Friends” is such an iconic anthem for a lot of us people in that crowd that night. I met so many wonderful people through being a fan of his music in the past 12 years. I share so many memories with so many of those people. Memories of gigs and trips and chats and lockdown livestreams. Deep conversations about why we are all doing this, how much his music and his lyrics mean to us and why. Conversations about how his music and the communal experience of singing those songs together helped and still do help all of us in one way or another. It never ceased to amaze me and I’m so glad I was able to become a part of this community. To let myself be a part of this community. Leaving my comfort zone and all that. 

Unfortunately I didn’t get to see all that many of those people at the gig or over the weekend. I did mention the 10.000 people and my anxious mind, right? I wasn’t really in the right state of mind to linger around for long after the gig. But I knew they were there with me in spirit.  

The second song was ” I Knew Prufrock Before He Got Famous” and by the end of that the Sleeping Souls joined Frank on stage. For this one they still had the montages of early day photos going on on the screens and yes, of course there was an image of Jay (“Beans on Toast”) at the appropriate time. Of all the others probably as well, but I don’t know those (faces) at all.  

Next up was “I Still Believe” – and no, this won’t be a song by song recap review post, don’t worry – but this one is the song that started it all for me all those many years ago. In the summer of 2013 was mindlessly skipping TV channels one weekend afternoon and caught this bit of live footage of a festival. Didn’t know the band, liked the song. Liked how the singer danced around after the first verse. Decided to keep watching and paid closer attention to the lyrics. The rest as the saying goes is history. 

As stated above, a pretty regular current tour set followed. I’m so glad he’s still playing “Haven’t Been Doing So Well” from the last-but-one album. There are many songs and lyrics which mean the world to me for some reason or another, but this song might have had the biggest impact on me, as it made me seek help and have therapy for about 18 months (April 2022 – August 2023). It was life changing and I try not to throw that term around lightly when it comes to Frank Turner. As laid out in the intro to this “My First Ten Years” post . 

When he played the opening chords for “The Road” I guess, many, many people got their phones and cameras ready to catch one particular moment. I was such a long way back that I didn’t. I’m sure the whole gig will be available to watch again on a streaming platform or DVD at some point. But of course I also held my breath for it and cheered after the slight pause and updated lyric

And the nights, three thousand nights I’ve played, a thousand more to go,
Before I take a breath and steel myself for the next three thousand shows.

The encore started with “Undefeated”, which is a great song in general, but of course was made even more special that night because… 3000 shows. And after that they brought it home with classic “let’s jump and dance and sing and have a great time” songs: Polaroid Picture, Get Better, Four Simple Words. 

That night and also on my way back home from London the next day and this past week I on and off pondered how much I have changed through these last 12 years in general. I’m not going to bother dissecting how much of the change was through the music, the lyrics, the gigs, the people or just change through life in general. I can’t make that distinction and I don’t know why I should.

With the same conviction that Frank states that he’s a touring musician, these days I can state that I am a Frank Turner fan and probably will be for life. It is a (huge) part of who I am. Not in the possibly slightly obsessive “chronicle every gig in detail on my blog / watch a few interviews to excess / parse every word in all the lyrics and interviews” kind of way it still was a couple of years ago. But in the broad “being a fan of his music changed my life for the better” kind of way. And I will be forever and ever grateful to Frank, his crew and his fanbase for that.    

Post Script:
One of the reasons this post took me so long to write / publish, was that I really struggled to deal with the negative, nagging Gremlin voice in my head, who was trying to ruin this memory for me. The Gremlin voice shouting all the things that didn’t go as planned and went wrong, counting off all the circumstances that were a bit annoying. Hammering home the fact that of course it all didn’t go as silly little fangirl me with tons of issues, had imagined it in some back corner of her mind. Shouting that the whole trip was as stupid and insignificant as in general I am as well. That kind of voice.

I’m proud to say that I did manage to shut her up in the end. It just took me a while, hence the delay in putting this post together.