When I sat down at my computer this afternoon I decided to move the ton of photos from my cameras SD card to my computer, before I started typing up my thoughts. While moving those Paris files I somehow managed to shred the SD card they were on. I don’t know if it would have worked better, had I only copied instead of moved the files. I’ll never know. But the many many Paris photos were and remain lost! Notre Dame, the Eiffel Tower, some bridges and monuments, the Louvre and Tuileries Gardens at dusk… all gone! I’m not ashamed to admit that I cried hot, angry tears over that for a bit this afternoon. But… it’s just photos. Yes, it would have been nice to have them to remember the trip by. To share some of them here and on Instagram. To show off a bit, I admit that as well. I try my hardest to not be too hard on myself for messing this up. No amount of being pissed at myself over it, will restore these files. “Be More Kind” starts with oneself, right?
Here are the few not as high-quality photos I took with my phone.
I had a good time all in all and that’s what matters, right?
I had thought about doing another “Charlie in…” Insta stories installation, but that would have been the opposite of unplugging. So I rarely took photos with him. Here is one though. Like I said I had a good time in Paris.
Yummy Breakfast
It rained more than I had liked, but I used that time in my rented apartment to just catch up on my reading. Newspapers. Online articles. Novels. Two around 400 pages each in the span of 4 days. Lots of rain and long train journeys make that possible and I loved that.
The main reason for me to travel to Paris was the Brandi Carlile gig on Monday evening. It was her first time proper touring in Europe and she did not disappoint. I wouldn’t call myself a fan of her as such, but I like a lot of her songs and I had wanted to see her live for a long time. It was so nice to be be able to experience the energy in the room with a bit of emotional distance, but of course it also swept me away. Think of hard core music fans being able to hear the songs live for the first time in no idea how many years. It was a loud crowd and I loved it. The concert took place in theatre with great acoustics. Here are two clips from that night (not filmed by me, obviously).
Fangirling: These past few weeks / months I have mentioned a few times how I can relate to some of what Robbie Williams is singing and these past few years has been talking about. Anxiety, lack of self-worth, worrying, self-sabotaging and all that comes with it. In regards to the “what he’s singing about” there needs to be an amendment though. A few days ago I watched a clip about the, let’s call it, business relationship between professional songwriters and singers. It’s not necessarily a close relationship, from that clip it felt a bit like a pick and mix buffet, from both sides. To some extent it was quite eye-opening. I for instance didn’t know or maybe have forgotten about it, that a singer gets a songwriting credit even if they just change one word of the lyrics. A tiny bit disillusioning, maybe. Anyway, I still like to believe that even Robbie has either contributed more than the occasional word to the songs that make him so relatable to me. Or at least still like to believe that he picked those songs for a reason, as in that he related to the words as well.
Anyway, the evening started with the Lottery Winners, who did a good job of warming up the crowd, as I knew they would.
The Lottery Winners
From a neutral point of view I worry that a few in the crowd might have thought that Thom was a bit “much”. ADHD personality and all. I like it and I’m used to it, but others…? I don’t know. I liked their set and had a good time. And Thom was back with Robbie mid-show on the C stage. More on that later.
So, Robbie Williams: As I could have expected and as I did in fact expect, this was one BIG production. The images / material on the main screen behind the stage changed quite often, but as my seat was in the upper tier close to the stage, I didn’t see much of it. There was a good sized band, two or three female backup singers, eight or more mostly female, I think, backup dancers. Those dancers changed their outfit every other song or so, along with different props and set up scenery. Like I said: big. Not the kind of show I usually go to, maybe because it often enough feels staged to rigidly. Not staged in a phony way, but in “a every word and step was the same each night”, which it has to be at a show at this level I guess. And it was a good show.
Robbie himself was quite chatty – though again, I’d like to see if he’s doing the same bits word for word each night of if he mixes it up. Definitely chattier and definitely more outgoing than I remember him from a gig in the mid-2000. 20 years ago! Anyone who followed his career and life over the decades will understand why: Mental health wise he is in a much better place now and he openly talks about that and his struggles and his journey to this state of mind as well. Let’s call the evening a public therapy session with Robbie Williams and I was more than ok with that. I probably could relate to that so well, because I have been on a similar journey myself to a happier and healthier me these past few years.
Funnily enough Robbie also did a bit I knew quite well from Frank Turner. Have they been talking? I’m kidding. But after the first two songs (the new single “Rocket” and of course “Let Me Entertain You”) he talked about how the night is supposed to lift the weight of the world for a bit and how this only works when we – him on stage and us the audience – work together and make that happen and that he can’t do this on his own. I’m a sucker for those kind of statements, because it’s true.
“And so the story starts” he said kneeling down to sing…
“I’ve sung some songs that were lame, I’ve slept with girls on the game…”
Monsoon
The setlist was well curated to sort of tell us about Robbie’s life over the past few decades and that narrative arc worked well for me. Mid-show or so we even saw 51 year old Robbie having a conversation with an AI generated teenage Robbie: “You’re on a stadium stage, singing your own songs? NO WAY!” Gimmicky, yes, but quite adorable, I thought.
A “chat” between decades
It also made me ponder, what it must do to a person’s psyche to grow up in the public eye the way he did. How much we all (think we) knew about him and his fuck-ups. And because it mostly took place in the 21st century it’s still all available on some corner of the digital archive we call the internet. I would not want anyone be able to publicly look back on my life over these past four decades, let’s put it that way.
Looking a bit pensive
As mentioned above Thom and his acoustic guitar joined him for a medley of older and a bit lesser know songs on the C-stage. With a big wink, Robbie dissed the audience for only knowing half of the lyrics of these rarer songs. “There is more to the chorus than those first few lines. Man, you really have forgotten about me, have you?”
When Thom played the first chords of “Relight my fire” Robbie stopped him. “No, don’t play that, I’ve still got PTSD from it”. For anyone who didn’t know the story or hadn’t watched the Better Man movie, he talked about how he was supposed to be the lead in this song, but was then replaced by Gary Barlow. Thom just said, “It’s your chance to reclaim the song now, man”, so of course they did that one as well.
The backup dancers weren’t the only one who changed their outfits, Robbie did at least twice or even three times. At least for this one I did not notice the moment he slipped of stage to actually do that, which speaks for the well choreographed show all in all. I liked the pink.
Pretty in Pink
He did “I Did It My Way” in this look and then after shedding the jacket had genuinely lovely moment with a fan in the front row. There is at least one clip of it out there, but I won’t link to it as I have no idea if that person actually wants to be memorized all over the internet. Hinting you in the right direction is only half bad, I tell myself.
Lots more of great songs till he ended with a sea of lights and of course his two biggest hits “Angels” and “Feel”. What a wonderful night. Thanks Robbie.
“Angels…”
Here are a bunch more photos from the gig last week.
For my 50th birthday some friends gifted me an “outdoor escape room” / digital scavenger hunt experience in Cologne. We did that today and it was lots of fun. We spent 2.5 hours exploring the Ehrenfeld quarter, which is characterized by it’s diverse scene. People from various countries and cultures, pubs, cafe’s, little shops and lots of street art, galeries and just a vibrant atmosphere. On the trail we had to follow we passed through various streets I remembered having parked my car in when I went to a gig nearby and we even passed a small venue I have been to once in the past decade. For Will Varley in 2018 / 2019? I don’t exactly recall. I’ve gone to quite q few gigs in Cologne in the past 20 or so years. It felt a bit weird to be back there in the daylight, but not in a bad way.
I plan to definitely be back for a proper street photography tour in Ehrenfeld the summer. Here now are just a few shots from today:
