09.07.2020 | “You Go Ahead, ‘Cause Life’s Like A Jump Rope”

Novelty | I finally found a new theme I like well enough to actually pay for the PRO version, if only to remove the opacity from the header picture. I will tweak other bits as well, but not right now as I need to look into all the options first. And I really want to write this post first. I started writing a post yesterday and the day before and never followed through.

In Circles | Almost 11 years ago on the old blog (whatever form or title it had back then) I wrote a post titled “Life’s Like A Jump Rope”. It was basically a long post about the ups and downs of everyday life. I picked that lyric as a title, because I was deep in a Blue October phase back then. Like DEEP! I’m too lazy to go back and quote some of what I wrote back then. With all the “Frank Turner lyrics speak to me” fangirling I’ve have been doing over the last seven years, I somehow totally blanked out that years before Frank, there had been this other band – Blue October – who had some lyrics I felt similar about. For the first time ever actually! It blew my mind back then. It still does now in a way. I’ve changed and moved on and moved past those troubled lyrics from back then. More or less anyway.

I hadn’t thought about this band for years until … Frank Turner and Jaret Reddick mentioned them in this week’s edition of “Back To The Metal” their weekly Instagram chat. Just briefly and in passing, but Frank stated, that their had been plans to do a few shows together with “Blue October”. And for obvious reasons I freaked out a tiny bit, in a good way. The two only acts who ever made / still make me feel understood and “seen” in all my emotional mess on a lineup together? Wow! I know even if there weren’t a pandemic which cancels all touring plans, this probably would have happened far away from me in Texas, USA, but still… Wow!

Yesterday I finally bought all the Blue October albums I missed since I somehow forgot about them and I like a lot of the newer material too. Definitely on my “to watch” list for… whenever real gigs will be happen again.

Overdue | I’ve been a member of our city council and a few council committes for many many years now. Council and committee meetings come with a lot of paperwork. Reports, proposals, bills, the budget and everything else that needs to be discussed and decided on. A few years ago there was an option to go digital, but I didn’t back then for a variety or reasons. I will definitely go digital after the next elections in September. Anyway, about two years ago I started letting slide sorting all this paper into the various folders in my shelf. Because those folders and trays in my shelf were full already. And once you stop sorting and postpone it… it get’s harder and harder. I knew most of the stacks of paper could be thrown out after all this time (as we get everything in digital form after the year’s over anyway). It still needed to be looked at before shucked out and there were so many stacks on my livingroom floor and kitchen table by now. It crossed the border to messy-land some time ago. So this afternoon I finally sat down and looked at everything and shucked. That’s the remainder of this year’s documents I need to keep for a while longer.

Paper stack

There was four times this on the kitchen table and two big stacks (like 10 times this) in my livingroom. Not anymore. Finally! Did I mention yet that I have a procrastination problem? I do. Obviously. There are still various folders, trays and stack on my shelf to sort and shuck – most even older than the stuff I got rid of today. But I’ll keep that for another weekend or vacation time, I guess.

I rewarded myself with icecream after I took the second big box of paper to the recycling. I defintely think I’ve earned it.

Ice cream

“9 o’clock shivers” | That’s what Frank Turner calls the feeling he gets, when’s at home after a tour and the usual time to go on stage comes around in the evening. For the last 14 weeks Frank played 12 live stream shows to support independent venues and two for his crew and and himself. He had his reasons to stop that for now or for ever, though I assume there will be more live streams shows in the future. There definitely will be “Show 2500” in a few weeks. Socially distanced on a stage with the Sleeping Souls, which is soooooo cool! I miss the guys and it’s going to be fun to see them all together again, even though it’s only on a screen. Anyway, it’s Thursday evening, a few minutes before the usual showtime and and I feel… weird, that for the first time in over three months, I won’t see Frank live on my TV. I won’t be chatting with gig buddies, familiar names and friends at the chat.

I’ve got time to finish this blog post though ๐Ÿ™‚

(Blog title are lyrics from “Like A Jump Rope”, Blue October, 2009)

05.07.2020 | “Don’t You Forget, That This Too Shall Pass…”

I’m still finding my way around here. Still looking for a different layout theme. I don’t know. I had a sort of recap of the last days post finished last night and still didn’t post it, because I thought who the fuck cares about the minituae of my day? Neither do I want to bore you with how some of the things Frank Turner mentions on a podcast still gets me thinking, because I’m afraid that might make me look like a rabid fangirl. (Which I am, so I should own up to it. Some other time maybe.)

I don’t want to post about COVID-19 and how it changed everything too much here either, but it’s been on my mind a lot more recently, even though I’ve sort of slipped back into some kind of normalcy after months of being and feeling off-kilter and paralysed. The past two weeks I’ve been alternatively working from home and working at the office, been to council meetings and party assemblies, all carried out according to distancing etc guidelines and such. I’ve been to IKEA for crying out loud. It’s a new normal and I obviously made my some peace with that.

And then out of the blue there are these fleeting moments, when I realize it’s still going to be “not normal” for a long while and I’m reminded of all the things I miss. And it takes some effort to not start crying or despairing. All over again. Moments like

  • Reading about or see fictional people hug family and friends or cuddle with small children and just be affectionate with each other.
  • Thinking about having lunch or dinner out (during / after) a long day at work, but as I try to minimize the time indoors with people I don’t know and not knowing how serious restaurants etc. abide to the COVID regulations, having pizza delivered in the evening is the only option.
  • Reading a line in a novel about how Lake Michigan is to cold to dip into at that time of year, which made me remember all the lochs in Scotland for whatever reason
  • Sorting through a drawer and coming across my Oyster card for trips to London
  • Seeing that the same drawer holds the earplugs I use at gigs…

And so many more tiny things to be reminded that this is not normal. And won’t be for a while… *sigh*

Daily Media Digest

Watched: some vintage Gilmore Girls. while I eat | The remaining episodes of “Never Have I Ever” | Hamilton on Disney +

Listened to: The end of the Pod Punk Podcast with Frank Turner | All of Frank Turner’s “Be More Kind” (just because I felt like it) | The “When in Yorkshire” podcast episode with Jess Guise.

Read: Many chapters of “The Most Fun We Ever Had”

Positivity 2020

Making tentative plans with friends โ˜… Icecream for tea. โ˜… “The Most Fun We Ever Had” (about half way through and blown away more and more)

01.07.2020 | “[….] running myself into the ground with such dedication”

Two more long days at work. Sort of busy, but also sort of dawdling and not as productive as I could / should have been. Yes, the thunderstorm-y weather and the change in atmosphere (I guess) that comes with it, didn’t help either.

Yesterday I lay down for a nap of sorts, just to have the alarm set for 10 pm to watch “Back To The Metal” – Frank Turner chat with Jaret Reddick on Instagram, like I did for the last three months. Not a sensible plan, because I actually slept and I need the sleep. That’s why I’m off to bed after typing this quick post as well.

Also yesterday on my way to work and back I listened to Frank on a podcast (too lazy to look it up and link it now), where he talked a lot about his mental health issues and self destructive behaviour in form of self harm (as a teen), substance abuse as a grown up. And so much of what he touched on felt so familiar. Not in a substance abuse / addiction kind of way, butself destruction comes in so many shapes. I know very well what my ‘wrong’ behaviours are, but I still can’t stop myself. And it might not be harmful in a physical way (as drugs and alcohol are), but I know it’s unhealthy in other ways. And still… *sigh*

There is definitely stuff to think about in the next few days. I’ve officially got days off from work from next Monday till the Tuesday after. Yay! I will have to work a little bit from home still (making up for all the dawdling I did these past few days), but besides that I have a few tentative plans. Pracitcal ones like new book shelves. Sorting through the mess of my apartement. More introspective ones like having a proper look at why I act / react the way I do. Vague, I know. But I still haven’t quite found the right words yet.

Positivity 2020

Vacation is signed off โ˜… Being able to afford to buy books in bulk (on a whim) โ˜…