Lyrics: “Do One” – Frank Turner, 2024
2025 might be the year where I choose to do… better. I’m trying to anyway. Be more mindful and take better care of myself and others. Well myself first. On the plane they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first for a reason, right?
Monday morning after a(nother) crappy night of sleep and after the mandatory look what’s on my professional and personal schedule for the week I decided – a bit on a whim – to take Friday (today) off!
One of the best decisions I made this year so far. Of course, I had plans to get lots of things done and as always I only got to one third of them. But I took good care of myself, which was part of the point in taking the day off as well. Sleeping in. Taking it easy. Running errands. Spend lots of time reading my weekly newspaper.
Staying off social media and mostly also the news for the better part of 24 hours. Checked my mails once or twice to see if there was something urgent. Of course there wasn’t. Still haven’t checked any social media since 7 PM last night. I will need to log into Instagram to share this post later, but I’m determined to not spend too much time on it then either.
With what has been going on in German parliament this week I was afraid I might have to wade into talking about politics here again even though I was determined not to. Other people can do that much more eloquently. I’m glad that today “German Bundestag rejects immigration bill pushed by conservatives and far right” Even though some damage has already been done with the votes on Wednesday, at least for now there won’t be a first bill through parliament by votes of the far right (aka fascists!).
Wednesday evening I had been looking for anti – fascist demonstration happening around here, which I could go to in support. I had found one (today at 5 PM in a neighbouring town) that fit my full schedule and had been determined to go or even help out with setting it up, as there was a call for organisational support on their website. I had been so determined to go and do that. I had taken the day off. For other reasons, but needs must and all, right?
Thursday morning, I woke up already quite knackered and gave up any idea of any offer of support and probably of even just attending. Selfcare, priorities, the oxygen mask and all that. In the end I really didn’t go to that today and that definitely was the right decision, because it would have stressed me out too much and the point of taking the day off was to rest and recharge.
At the moment I just can’t do it all. And I’m sensible enough to not try to do it anyway. Give myself a break and sometimes take a bit of time to just rest.
One of the many helpful recommendations I got from either a podcast or a newsletter recently was to start the morning with reading a few pages in a real book before starting reading the news or scrolling through social media. I admit I sometimes start my morning with my current fiction in bed anyway, but this goes further. I don’t keep my phone near my bed so it’s purposeful decision to not scroll through my phone with my 2nd coffee – (first one usually during my almost daily mediation) – but read a proper book before that for a few minutes. At the moment I’m often not in the right mindset for two non-fictions I started a while ago: one from the self-help category, one political/historical/social documentary stuff. I knew I’d probably not be in the right mindset for those early in the morning either. I had a good look at my varied unread non-fiction shelf, and lots are about political/historical/social issues, which I knew would be too heavy for early in the morning. Or too enraging which isn’t a good mindset to start the day in either.
In the end I opted for a “The Atlas of the Invisible”, a book about maps and data and cartography “that will change the way we see the world”. And I’m so glad I did, because it’s awesome.
In the very twisted way my mind sometimes works, I could “thank” Trump for that choice of book. When he had signed his tons of executive orders (was that really just a week ago?) in classic “flood the zone with shit” style, I fell for the trap and got enraged about two orders I had a closer look at: Renaming the Gulf of Mexico and Denali. I always had a thing for maps, I took A level Geography, I studied Town and Regional Planning, which is sort of Geography adjacent. I could not believe he’d actually go there, and I was getting enraged about the stupidity and arrogance and disregard for other people / nations / the world these orders so clearly showed.
For that one morning last week I let these two orders distract myself from the much worse and much horrible policies other executive orders on that day stood for. And have been set in motion since then. Making lives worse for trans people. For anyone not white, for all minorities. For so many federal employees. For… you name it.
I’ll try to do better. Keep my eyes on the ball and stay in the fight so to speak, while at the same time remember taking care of myself so I can stay in the fight. Pick my battles.