Lyrics: “Breathe (2 AM) – Anna Nalick, 2004
Every other evening since the year started, I have the vague “You should write a post about X and Y and Z” thought and then never ever get around to it, because by the time the daylight leaves, I’m often already so bloody knackered. I don’t want to glibly throw around terms like “seasonal depression” or “depression” at all. Let’s just say these days I’m often just in bit of a low mood. Tired, but not able to sleep restfully. And that’s not just my own impression every morning but also ‘proven’ my smart watch tracker. I seem to be running so very low on energy, no matter how much time I lie in bed. I’ve already been moping about it to coworkers: that I don’t even toss and turn and keep ruminating or worrying and thus keep myself up at night. I sleep through the night and still am not very well rested in the morning.
I also fucking hate the lack of daylight this time around. More than I ever did before, it seems.
To make it all even more gloomy: Fires are raging in California. Fascism is on the rise everywhere as well as climate change and science deniers. Wars, armed conflicts, famine, human rights suppression… the list goes on and on. I’m tired.
Don’t worry about me though: All in all I’m doing fine and I know how to count my blessings. Just don’t expect any meaningful content or any content at all here for a while longer.
