12.07.2022 | Losing Days

Lyrics: “Losing Days” – Frank Turner, 2013

I’m not sure if a week by the beach on my own was the right idea. The “on my own” part most of it. I’m usually fine on my own and don’t need other people to have a good time. But I think at the moment I could have benefit from someone around to get me more motivated. To give me things to do or to be. I know it’s so easy to say, just go and do things on your own and I did in London, obviously. But around here I’m a bit lost and unmotivated. It’s weird.

I was feeling a bit gloomy and grumpy yesterday evening as well, so I went to bed really early in the hopes to just sleep it off. Went to bed at 8, read till about 9. Then some weird slight underlying anxiety made me toss and turn till almost midnight. I slept in this morning, had a late breakfast. Picked up my book and alternated between reading, writing my Mincemeat review, reading, beating myself for being such a sloth, reading… you get the idea.

This evening at least I got out and off to the beach, because it looked like an nice evening. And it was. Walked along the beach for a bit, took lots of photos. Now my book and I will head of to bed again in hopes that I’m in a more active mood tomorrow.

Ameland beach at sunset, July 2022

Big Flash of Joy: Operation Mincemeat – The Musical

It’s been almost a week since I last saw the musical “Operation Mincemeat” and since I over-enthusiastically announced on Twitter that I’d write a blog post about it soon. But that day was followed by basically two whole travel days and then a bout of “I have no plans and nothing to do, this feels overwhelming” dread here by the beach. I really dislike my messed up mind some times.

Yesterday I’ve started reading a WW II novel “The Ops Room Girls” (part one of a trilogy, so maybe I’ll read more) and some of the atmosphere of this story reminded me of Mincemeat again. Unsurprisingly so: World War II, Women taking their chance in a world, which all of a sudden is devoid of men, because they’re off to war… For me especially one line in the novel mirrored the atmosphere of some scenes in the musical.

“If the Germans come, we’ll all be plunged into the dark. One day of sunshine and happiness out of a lifetime of misery – surely we can have that.”

The Ops Room Girls, Vicki Beeby

I guess that’s what the spirit has been at times. As it should have been. I’m a bit sad that one of my favourite songs in the show so far “Let Me Die In Velvet” had been cut for a new song: “Lets be winners for one night” (? Not sure if that’s the title.) But I have to be fair and admit, that the new song fits and especially moves the story along much better, while maintaining the same vibe as Velvet did. I’m grateful that they kept one of my many (favourite) lines in the dialogue around that scene.

The world is a mess. Small flashes of joy, it’s all any of us can hope for.

Ewen Montagu in “Operation Mincemeat”

Because that’s still so true. Decades after the war. Years after I first saw the show.

But I’m already in the thick of it without any introduction. I’m not sure this post will make sense to anyone who hasn’t seen the show yet. Sorry for that. But I still want to gather and share my thoughts. And in that future moment – when they will have successful runs in the West End and will have won even more of the (big) awards – prove, that I’ve been a fan from the very start ;-).

Real quick: Operation Mincemeat is a brilliant, funny while also tear jerking, whirlwind of catchy musical numbers and fast paced witty dialogue; performed by five insanely talented people playing about 30 different roles among them with astonishingly few costumes / props changes and with mind blowing gender fluidity. Oh, the plot? How a few posh white men with the help of a few women at MI5 fool Hitler with a dead body and thus help the Allies win the war. True story. Yes, there’s also been a movie recently about the same story and the movie worked fine as history movie and all, but, it’s just not the same…

I’ve seen the show on it’s first run in 2019 and was already blown away and again in early 2020, when they already had made some changes to some scenes and some of the music. Here are my reviews from back then:

May 2019: Operation Mincemeat” – Absolutely Brilliant
January 2020: Musical “Operation Mincemeat” – Gets Better and Better With Every Run

And then I haven’t been able to see it for the longest time, even once the UK theatre world returned to stage, because I wasn’t comfortable travelling in 2021 yet. So that version shown at the Riverside Studios in Hammersmith (till 23rd July) is “Operation Mincemeat 5.0” (maybe?). It’s still fascinating to see how the plot and performances change slightly or even to some bigger extent over time. I went back through my previous reviews and realized how many of the tiny scenes I mentioned aren’t in the show anymore, but replaced by something equally good or in many cases even better. It’s also a joy to see how the show stays true to the audacity of the whole “ludicrous secret mission to win the war” situation while at the same time manages to deepen the human aspect of it all.

On this run I especially loved to see that they gave a bit more room to the female characters and the feminist aspect of the story. It was so nice to see a bit more of Hester. The new song “Medals and Sculptures” (that’s probably not the title) was a great addition. At least I don’t remember that from the previous shows, even though the line about the planes in the sky felt slightly familiar. All in all it gave more depth to both characters and I loved that. Because let’s face it: Monty, Charles and even Johnny Bevan have been fleshed out plenty by history already. I mean, they were the men in charge. So this one between Jean and Hester was sweet to see and also a well deserved acknowledgement of the vital part women played in many aspects of winning the war. It also was great to see Claire Marie Hall and Jak Malone apply their great comedy timing here.

I also very much enjoyed the small new hints to current affairs, like “to turn this into a highly profitable film?!?!” and of course the digs at current UK politics. I’ve heard there were some extra ones the night Boris Johnson announced that he’d be resigning. The whole “the Nazis left Germany, but don’t worry, they are now making a comeback in the USA” bit during the finale is also brilliant. Because even though it was just a few lines of song, it was so spot on. Sadly enough.

Talking about Nazis. Even at the 4th and 5th time watching this show, seeing the big Nazi rap scene still feels weird to me. As a nation we Germans – rightfully, I think – had it drilled into our minds that you don’t joke about Nazis, their swastika, or anything. Showing the swastika is only allowed in a very limited context in Germany. Even using it in any artistic way can be limited I think. So seeing it so openly used here – in a context where it makes total sense, don’t get me wrong – and to hear people laugh about the number and to even laugh myself made me feel a tiny bit uncomfortable. But that’s just me. The number is very good. Johnny Bevan breaking the 4th wall after that is a new addition though, right? I don’t recall that at all from any of the previous shows, but I loved it here.

Like I said many changes / cuts were tiny, but all worked well for me and made the whole story and performance run a bit smoother than the last version I saw in 2020. Shout-out to all the creative people (director, choreographer etc.) who joined the team and helped shape this performance. I also especially liked the new (for me) ending. The glitzy finale, where many of the characters and themes got their well deserved reprise and of course the “real” finale after that. Very very moving. Well done, guys!

But now once again, let’s talk about the people on stage.

Claire-Marie Hall: Once again such a joy, not just as Jean Leslie but in all of her roles – phone carrying Steve in Spain especially. Like mentioned above, I’m so glad her voice and comedy timing can shine in the scene with Hester about the medals and sculptures.

Sean Carrey:  Deserves an every extra round of applause. He joined the show a week (?) before it opened, because David Cummings had had an accident, broken some bones and wouldn’t be able to play Charles Cholmondeley for a few weeks. So Sean stepped in on short notice. Learned all the dialogue, all the songs, all the roles and all the choreography and smashed it. By the time I was there to see the show, David and Sean were alternating the roles, but I happen to see Sean twice and David not at all. I think I might have liked to compare and contrast both actors, but it was fine this way as well. “Dead in the Water” is still my song, whoever is singing it.

Zoe Roberts: Zoe as well was only in one of the shows I saw, because she was feeling under the weather at the first one on Saturday afternoon, so her understudy Anouk Chalmers took over. Anouk did a good job as well, but no one plays Ian Fleming or the bumbling British Official in Spain as amazing as Zoe does. Her facial expressions as Haseldon are incredible and the whole suitcase / telephone / hat scene with the Spanish pathologist and assistant Steve is pure comedy gold.

Jak Malone: I’m so glad they gave Hester a bit more to do and sing and to let her be the great role model that she is. Jak plays her so wonderfully in all of it. I have to say though, that “Dear Bill” didn’t make me well up as much as it used to. Maybe it has worn off a bit. Thank God, because I was such a weepy mess after that song in 2020. Jak excels in every other part as well, the creepy coroner, the jolly American Pilot. I had the chance to meet him (and Sean) after my 2nd visit and both were such lovely human beings.

Natasha Hodgson: What can I say? 

Within seconds she always made me forgot it’s not a man playing Ewen Montagu. The arrogance, the swagger, the outrageous confidence. For some reason this time around I also was fascinated how quickly she could change moods and give off very different vibes. From being the cold, stern superior officer, when Charlie didn’t let go of the file: “I’ve issued you an order, Lieutenant” to the embarrassed and squirming – “It’s just a first draft” – screen writer within just a few quick moments. God, she’s brilliant.

So yes, I hope and have my fingers crossed this show will be able to get yet another run in one of the even (slightly) bigger theatres any time soon. Wherever it will go, I’ll be there a few times to watch it for sure. What can I say: “I was born to follow…”

11.07.2022 | “The Truth Is I Don’t Like People All That Much…”

Lyrics: “Once We Were Anarchists” – Frank Turner, 2007

I made to the 2nd part of my vacation on Friday evening: an apartment by the beach on a dutch island in the North Sea. Perfect for just relaxing and chilling out after a few busy days in London and the crowds. Too perfect and too chill maybe, because for the first two days I felt a bit overwhelmed by the “nothingness”. Nowhere to be, nothing to do. All alone with my thoughts. Not always a good thing. I spent the first two days puttering around my small apartment, the occasional trip to the near beach – though it’s been windy, cloudy and not all that warm – and distracting myself from too much thinking / worrying with books and books and more books.

Books: I still plan to read quite a lot, because a) I actually do enjoy it and b) it’s a better way to spend my time than scrolling through social media all day. But I need to make sure it’s a conscious decision and not a flight from whatever.

I needed to take a break from “The Paris Library” because – SPOILER – the main character’s mother dies early and unexpected and I just couldn’t go there (yet). I have read mentions of other parents’ death in novels since my mum passed away, no problem. But in this case it just brought up too many thoughts. Thoughts I might want and need to address at some point, but not now. I just wasn’t up for it. I didn’t bring any other fiction book with me, so I went through my list of “want to read” or “have read and mostly enjoyed” trivial, sexy / smutty rom-com options, which I could download for either of my two ebook readers. There is no danger of those stories bringing up personal / family issues. I’m already on book 2 of the “Bluewater Billionaires” and it feels it’s just the right kind of easy, entertaining summer read for now.

My non-fictions, which I’m determined to read a good chunk of this remaining week of vacation:

Books on Vacation 2022
Books on Vacation 2022

Invisible Women about what it means for women’s lives (health, safety and all everything), that the world mostly has been designed by men for men. Two chapters in and it’s already making my blood boil. “Amerika Gotteskrieger”, German book about the Christian Nationalists / Religious Right in the USA. This one as well is making me want to scream and throw things :-). The last one is the big one: “The Boundless Sea” over 1000 pages of very small print. I’m getting through it slowly, but it’s quite interesting because I have a thing for history and the sea and also I’ve already learn a lot and realized how Euro Centric my history education in school has been. [Fangirl Nerd Alert for this one: Frank Turner mentioned in an interview some time ago, that he had read it, that’s how I’ve heard about it in the first place].

Pandemic: I’m quite glad I’m in an apartment on my own for a few days now and don’t have to be on public transport and don’t plan to go the theatre or any other indoor event for a while. On my travel to London, my way around London on public transport or the things I did in London (theatre mostly) I often was the only one (still) wearing a mask. I have to say that this messed with my self / identity – whatever you want to call it – more than I expected. For one, because I lack self-esteem and I don’t like standing out. But being one of the few people wearing a mask makes you stand out these days. And even though I know why I still do and I know that it’s the right thing for me (high risk group, not having had the plague yet) to do, it still made me feel like the odd one out. And sadly I’m too self-conscious to not mind that.

The other thing is, that I had a hard time not judging all the others not wearing a mask. From what I read and thus what I trust to know: the pandemic isn’t over. Numbers of cases are rising again everywhere and yes, it’s often just a mild case and not life-threatening, yada yada… But there also is the real risk of Long Covid and there is the real chance for unknowingly passing it on to vulnerable people (like me). And yes, I can take care of myself – wearing a mask or in the worst case isolate at home and miss out on life – but it pisses me off and saddens me, that I have to take more care than others. And potentially miss out on things. And that others obviously don’t care much about me. I know, I know, that’s a big bag of generalization here. But on my last leg home to the mainland, the crowded Eurostar where I was the only one in my vicinity wearing a mask at all, I thought: You all could unknowingly pass on a potentially deadly / disabling disease to me and you don’t fucking care. I hate you! And I don’t like thinking or feeling that way. I usually don’t hate people. I did mention above that I try to avoid thinking / worrying too much. Now you have an idea why…

Anyway, here’s another photo from the beach yesterday evening. Not as much of a “Golden Hour” vibe as I had hoped. It was just too cloudy. I also couldn’t be bothered to edit the photo (yet).

Beach on Ameland 2022
Evening beach on Ameland, July 2022