Changing from posting in the evening to posting in the morning doesn’t leave much to write about on day one of the new schedule. The cold seems to seep into my bones more and more each day. I’m already wearing two layers of clothes and have the heating on a slightly higher than normal setting. Maybe I just haven’t slept enough and that makes me sense the low temperatures more? Is that a thing?
Part of me still thinks everything I post here is useless drivel, because it’s all about my ordinary (boring) life. And I look around – not even to the world, just to my own country – and think, I should be up in arms (figuratively) and fight: Against fascism on the rise here in Germany, because some things are getting scary. Fight for a fairer society, because things are getting scary in that regard as well. One of the advice I read is to get involved locally, do little things, but I did that for the last two decades and I’m tired and jaded.
[Quickly tipping my hat to Frank Turner for teaching me the lovely adjective “jaded”. Through a song obviously.]
So, at the moment I don’t know what to do except to stay informed. Sign the occasional petition and such. Share information on my socials. I hope I would get involved or object if I hear or see someone says / do something right-wing or otherwise objectionable. But would I really? All the time or even every time? I don’t know.
That wasn’t even what I had planned to write about this morning. I finally wanted to write about the weird “flashbacks to pandemic times” I experience from time to time when I’m out and about. And I wonder if I’m the only one. It’s been over three years now but every once in a while, often when I’ in a supermarket or any other shop or some place, I rather vividly remember how those places had been during the height of lockdown. Long queues at the register. Security stationed outside. Empty shelves. People checking if you are allowed to come in, because you were there to pick up an order you made online or over the phone. Restricted access to the waiting room at any medical practice. The need to have proof of a negative test to do stuff. How complicated it was to travel. I don’t even mourn the things I missed because of all of that, because that was life, right?
But these random bits and pieces of memory are stuck somewhere in the my mind and sometimes they pop up and I wonder why? Why can’t I just put it all behind me and just live my life? On the other hand I’m almost glad that I haven’t forgotten all of it. And I don’t mean the restrictions we had to live with for so long. I’m glad that I still take it seriously and still worry to some degree. I don’t want to catch COVID a third time any time soon, so at the moment I’m masking again when I’m on public transport unless the carriage is rather empty. When I’m in a room with people for a longer while. Not at a birthday party, but at work meetings. At local politics meetings. Sometimes in the mall or the shopping area, when I feel there are too many people too close to me. I play it by ear a lot and I’m fine with that. Better safe than sorry, right? And I’m so glad that I’ve learned to not give a shit of what the other people around me might think about me and my mask in that moment.
This morning’s music: TIDAL’s Daily Discovery seemed to be full of old / middle age white men again. So I browsed a bit and landed on the latest Lewis Capaldi album. Also a white man, but at least not old 😉 I like the music well enough, but also think it’s a bit bland. At least nothing really stayed with me yet. I might need to give it another try. The same goes for the latest “The Killers” album from 2021. I gave that a try last night, because back then (see yesterday’s post) I liked them a lot, but at some point lost interest. The few songs I listened to from the latest album last night didn’t catch my interest all that much either.
Last night’s reading: I started the thriller “The Last Thing He Told Me” yesterday and so far like it alright. Let’s see where it takes me.