010/2024 “My Hands Are Cold”

Lyrics: “Human” – The Killers, 2008

The song was part of my “My Mix” TIDAL playlist this afternoon and felt like a fitting title. But 2008? 16 years? Fuck! I’m so old!

Another day went by and I think if I want to keep up posting more regularly I need to do that in the morning. I often start(ed) with a post before / during my coffee, but just as often I’m too tired in the afternoon or evening to add to it or to finish it. Today is a good example in the way that there is so much more I thought of writing about during the day, but now can’t be bothered to actually string all that many words together.

I’ve always been someone who needs time to get going in the morning. I can be out of bed, showered, dressed and out of the house in 30 minutes IF needs must like to catch an early train or whatever. But I usually like to have much more time to “wake up” before I start my day. Coffee, news, social media, reading something different than the news. Just a general puttering around. Is it time wasted? Maybe. I feel better if I’m not rushed in the morning. I might now need to check if adding another 30 or 60 minutes of blogging to my morning routine is an option. This also might mean getting up even earlier and with that going to bed a bit earlier, so… I don’t know.

In this morning’s Calm meditation Jay Shetty claimed that not being fully present all or most of the time makes you more unhappy than letting your mind wander. Maybe the claim wasn’t meant as all-encompassing as I understood it, but my first impulse was to strongly disagree. Replaying nice things that have happened in the past or imagining nice things that will (hopefully) happen in the future surely makes me more happy than being 100% fully aware of the same old roads on my way to work? And yes, I am fully aware of the traffic around me and all that. I hope 😉 On the other hand Jay was right that in the same way we sometimes (day)dream of happier times when we do something boring, we also replay the unhappier times (worry at work) in time when something doesn’t hold our attention and that of course definitely makes us unhappy.

After hearing that I decided to pay a bit more attention to how and where to my mind wanders over the next few days. I didn’t manage to do that all that often today, because it was a super busy day with lots of meetings – in person / via video call etc. One of those days where I need to remind myself that “meetings” are work as well, even if I mostly never get out of it with a tangible “product” as a result. All I have to show for are my scribbled notes. Which of course will lead to new things to do and thus result in work and are necessary for work, but it still felt a bit odd today.

I drove to work or at least to the city and parked near the first meeting, before I took the tram up to the office for the rest of the day. Saving money on parking fees, times on walking from free parking to the office, being a bit more climate friendly. As it is my job! It always takes a bit longer than driving, but I caught up with my RSS feed and started my new book on the 20 minutes tram ride, so all was fine.

Photo of a Brick Expressionism church, under a wintery blue sky
Former church now event location near where I parked today

When I checked Twitter this morning I was shown a Versace ad. Their algorithm is so drunk by now, it’s not even funny even more. But at least it helps with cutting back my social media time.


Listening: A bit of a comedy podcast in the car this morning, before I decided to be more mindful and just be in the car. “My Mix 1” from TIDAL. I still haven’t quite figured out if these playlists stay the same or change over time. I seemed to have deleted the Mix 1 for a time anyway. Now it’s back with different songs, I think? I need to investigate. Maybe

Watching: Nothing yet, because work and all.

Reading: A few news articles and blog posts, a lot of them quite depressing and once again I’m grateful that my privilege allows me to just keep those in the back of my mind (aka ignore them for a while). I also started a new book and I might write a bit more about this and the last on tomorrow. Too knackered for eloquent words at the moment.

1 Comment

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *