I don’t want to start the new year with being self-depricating, so I will keep any comment on how fruitful the idea of a post each day in 2024 really will be to myself. Trust me that I had to delete at least two attempts of a second sentence, because I was already being self-depracting. In a way it’s my MO and if there might be one resolution I could make for 2024 it probably should be to be less hard on myself and to talk less self-depricatingly about or to myself .

I’ll try to adopt more of Bryony Gordon‘s mindset at this time of year(s). Here is an excerpt from this week’s edition of her newsletter / substack “All is Well, My Darling”:

This edition of the Dazzle will not be a list of all the things I have achieved this year. I am done with having to use ‘achievements’ to validate my existence. This year the biggest thing I have accomplished is the realisation that I am just as lovely if I achieve fuck all as I am if I win an Oscar or the Nobel Peace Prize. I do not need to change the world to earn the right to exist in it peacefully.

I think it is important to have goals. I was going to write ‘I think it is important to want to be the best versions of ourselves’. But then I remembered: we are always doing our best, even if on the outside the opposite seems to be true. Very few people wake up and consciously think “I’m going to be the shittiest version of me today”. Even when I was in active alcoholism, even when I am in a terrible OCD episode, I am still doing my best with what I have at the time. I think this current culture of self-improvement can be admirable, but it can also be exhausting, especially in the dying days of a year when the pressure is on to post a highlight reel of it. What if you can’t think of any highs? What if it all feels like lows? Or just a flatline of meh?

The Dazzle #6, Bryony Gordon

In the spirit of being my best version I finally started with yet another of the “get my flat in order” tasks on the long list of tasks I had wanted complete by the end of the year for the longest time. Sort through the various kitchen cabinets. I realized that planning to do it all in one go makes me not start at all. So one cabinet or shelf in a cabinet at at time it is. This time the cleaning utensil shelf. OMG how many sponges and cleaning cloths does a household need?

Photo of various cleaning cloths and sponges
Some of the content of my cleaning cupboard

It’s my scatterbrain which sometimes sees them at the store and thinks “I should stock up on those” and then just shoves them in the cupboard.

The afternoon I spent at the family home watching 16 years old “wunderkind” Luke Littler annihilate his opponent Brendan Dolan Darts World Championship. I’m not sure if I want to go over there tomorrow night as well to watch the semi finals or if I rather do that from my own couch.

Not much more too report from this first day of the year. I plan to make some chili later tonight with the leftover peppers and tomato sauce from various other dinners over the last few days. I know many people plan to start the new year with clean / healthy living, but I’m too much of a comfort food person in these rainy and still very long dark days, that I can’t bring myself to do that. I’m glad to report that even with the amount of junk food and lack of activity over the past few days / weeks, I’m at least not gaining weight. I’m still about 12 pounds down from my weight six months ago, which is ok. I still plan to be more active, eat in a bit more healthy way, get a bit fitter, loose some more weight over the next few months, but – as you might have guessed – not with a distinct resolution or a smart (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound) goal in mind. I did fine without either this past six months, so why change a winning team, right?

I’m toying with the idea to include some sort of regular prompts in these post. Things like

  • what / how much I’ve read
  • what I’ve listened to
  • what I’ve watched (TV, movies…)

But I haven’t made up my mind yet.

At the moment I’m reading “Birds of California”, a romantic comedy by Katie Cotugno and quite enjoying it. The main and supporting characters are likeable, I can feel the sparks between the two leads and it’s easy to read without it being full of clichés. The book cover and some hints dropped so far gave me an idea of what the big twist will be, but that doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad think. It’s quite fun at times as well

“She’s wearing one of those dresses that’s made entirely of spandex, so tight that it seems like you ought to be able to see the cartoon outline of everything she eats – assuming of course, that she ever eats anything. Fiona feels like an American-made car.”

Birds of California, Chapter 7

I’m already half-way through and with the speed I’m reading, I might finish it tomorrow morning, if not in fact at some point late(r) tonight. I hardly watch anything on TV these days, at least not without in 90% of the cases reading something at the same time as well. Maybe I should switch my media use up a bit in 2024.

While I was queuing up old Gilmore Girls episodes as a background noise for – you’ve guessed it – my reading, I saw an ad for “The Lost City” and seeing Channing and Brad not take themselves too seriously in it seems like it could be fun. So maybe I’ll watch that tonight. And try to do it without a book on my lap as well.

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