Lyrics: “Be More Kind”, Frank Turner, 2018
This was a bit of a weird week for me. A bit lackluster (I blame the heat), a bit insightful, lots of rest, which I obviously needed. Something I had high(er) hopes for turned out a bit underwhelming and I don’t know if it really was or if I was just too hyped up about it. Another thing I was starting to dread and worry about and was in the process of postponing till next week, turned out fine. The lyric I picked as a title holds true for both, I guess: I need to not build things up in my head so much in advance in either way. Though I have to say I’m glad I’m handling failed expectations much better than I would a few years ago. Progress.
Zentangle | The thing that helps me get out of my head and into the moment these days definitely is doodling and colouring.
It really helps me to stay focused on the moment and what I’m doing in that moment and not think / worry about stuff from the past or the future. It also helps to practice being kind / forgiving to myself, when a tangle I worked on turns out a bit messy and not 100% the way I had hoped for. It’s still fine. No reason to beat myself up about it. I do need to watch out though, that I don’t use this to procrastinate too much on other stuff. I know I have the tendency to do that.
Late Summer | It’s been close to 30 °C around here this week and I’m not a fan. Not in general and not in September! I ran some errands yesterday morning and was so glad when I was back home indoors around noon. This morning I went for a run around 08:30 and it was ok, but again, I was glad when I got back home. Indoors. A part of me thinks “I should go out and enjoy the sunshine, before autumn/winter/darkness sets in.” That part also tries to make me feel guilty / wrong / weird for not doing that, but instead stay inside with the blinds closed for most of the day. It’s hard to work against what I think others consider “normal” thinking: The sun is shining. Let’s be outside! And then I remember how much I didn’t like the few hours I was outside yesterday morning doing things. But shutting up that critical inner voice is still hard work sometimes.
Health Check-Up | I went to my regular “over 40 check-up” this week. Everything is good so far, I still will continue to take iron supplements for a while longer, but the rest of the bloodwork was fine. The urine sample came back with signs of some infection though. Even the 2nd one, which I was asked for to make sure it wasn’t a contamination in the sample. A bit weird, because I don’t notice any of the common signs of a bladder infection. I took a special antibiotic yesterday and will have it checked out again in a week.
Thoughts on news | I have those. Quite a bit and sometimes I wonder if I should take the time and write them down here. But I don’t have a clear answer / solution for the various issues that are on my mind. Other people express a lot of what I’m thinking that so much better / faster / eloquently. Random collection of the issues at hand:
- Climate crisis and everything involved (why I’m disappointed with my government, how much I sympathize with young people protesting and more).
- The rise of right-wing / fascist parties or persons in Germany and basically everywhere else.
- That according to a new study fathers say they want to be more involved in raising their children, but they clearly aren’t yet.
- How during budget discussion in parliament several politicians stated “now that Covid is basically over” while my GP and a friend who works in the health sector tell me about how they see cases rising again.
- The horrible news from Morocco.
Travel plans | The first bookings (in progress) for 2024: a few days in London at the end of February. To see Operation Mincemeat once (or twice) more. Again. What can I say? I’m a fangirl. Booked one show definitely yet and the Eurostar. I’ll tend probably book a Travelodge a bit outside the centre again, because for the same price I get a king size bed there instead of the single one in the city centre. Comfort matters. But that’s not decided yet, there is still time.
Privilege | Another issue that is on my mind a bit every now and then. How privileged I am to be able to just plan a vacation for next year. Time and money wise and all that.