Lyrics: “Dan’s Song”, Frank Turner, 2009
It feel, like I should at least check in once a week. It’s not quite September, but it starts to feel like it doesn’t it? The first item on my “possible topics for a weekly post” is indeed: rain!
Rain & Running | We had quite a lot of that here this past week. Which messed with my running schedule a bit as well. Ok, the first “mess up” was, that I just couldn’t get out of bed on Tuesday, when I originally had planned to run in the morning. I did that run on Thursday morning, but instead of being able to head out at the earliest possible time (when it was light enough), I had to postpone for a bit, because it then started to rain. I was so tempted to change out of my running clothes, which I had put on first thing. I logged into work early instead, worked for about 30 minutes until the rain passed through and headed out then. Which was fine except for the fact that by then it was after 7 and parents started early drop-off at the primary school on my route. Which made navigating the sidewalks a bit difficult at times.
I was working at the office on Friday, when the predicted huge thunderstorm indeed hit in the morning. The amount of rain was annoying in itself, but I don’t think I’ve ever before had been right in the centre of something like that. According to my coworker at the other side of the building they saw lighting like never before. I was in a conversation with a coworker at that moment with my back to window, when we heard such a loud boom so close by, that at first I thought it must have been some explosion from the a construction site on the street. Scary stuff.
I had actually scheduled the next run for tomorrow morning, as – like I’ve stated before – I prefer getting it over with first thing in the morning. I was a bit worried I might not be able to get out of bed at the right time tomorrow, so I bit the bullet and planned it for this afternoon after all. I carefully watched the rain radar on my trusted weather app. I still got rained on after half the distance. For just 5 – 7 minutes or so, but that’s enough to get soaked. The run itself was fine, but I definitely prefer to not run in squishy socks in wet shoes.
State of Mind | Every once in a while I’m still baffled that I’m so much more relaxed about so many things than I used to be. I try my best to not be pissed at my former self for being so easily stressed and anxious and for always blaming herself and for catastrophising about everything. I made life so hard for myself and why? But… dwelling on the past doesn’t help, so I try not to and most of the time I’m managing quite well. Be in the moment and all that. Back in 2021 / early 2022, when I definitely felt at my lowest, I was upset so often over insignificant stuff, like breaking my streak at Wordle or my streak of daily mediation. Yes, the irony of being upset and anxious about a missed meditation is not lost on me. These days I don’t really care. If I miss a day and mess up a streak, I’ll start over the next day. It’s not a competition. There is no prize at the end of any of it.
There is a more to write about, but it’s getting late and my new state of mind also includes being sensible and stopping this here now to get ready for bed (soon-ish).