29.11.2022 | “I’m Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired…”

Lyrics: “Haven’t Been Doing So Well” ~ Frank Turner, 2021

Mood | It feels like a lot of “hits & misses” with my mood these past few days. Day to day or even going up and down during the day. Seeing the good bits of my day (whether I do it or they happen to me) feels more difficult than it should. Life is hard sometimes, isn’t it? I know this too will pass, but it hasn’t yet, so that’s a bit annoying. Not really that much more to write about, except…

Inspiration | I know I’ve been going on and on how much Frank’s lyrics, especially the ones I can relate to, have been helping me through darker times. One other person, whom I’ve just been rediscovering, has done just as much. Or is doing as much. Possibly even more, because I can relate to her even more than to Frank. Might be a gender thing. Might be an “issue” thing. I don’t know. That person is Bryony Gordon. I’ve spent the drive to and from work listening to a 90 minutes podcast she did recently, where she talked about her OCD and her various addictions or addictive behaviours. And while I don’t suffer from any clear addiction, I definitely experience or see such behaviour in myself. The tendency to numb feelings or thoughts. The shame about it… All so familiar. I guess her latest book will go on top of my to-read-pile. Once I’ve ordered it.

Pandemic | Yesterday I’ve been to two indoor meetings. The first was a 5 hours workshop (lots of listening to speakers) with about 70 people in a – admittedly – large room with a high ceiling. One other person besides me was wearing a mask. The other meeting was a local council committee meeting. About 25 people in large room for about 2 hours. I was the only one wearing a mask. It does start to make me feel very self-conscious again, but I really want to keep doing this for the winter season at least. It’ll be a good exercise for more self-confidence and giving less fucks at least. I hope.

Can’t be bothered to find any kind of accompanying photo for this post. I’m sorry…

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