17.12.2021 | “Not a Teacher, Not a Builder, Just Uncomfortable Me…”

Lyrics: “Haven’t Been Doing So Well” ~ Frank Turner, 2021

I’ve made it to the holiday park by the sea. Yay! No picture of the sea (yet), as it was already dark when I arrived, but here is the next best thing.

Sailing Ship "Passat"
Sailing Ship “Passat” at Travemünde Harbour

The drive up here was ok. Long, but I only encountered a bit of traffic jam around Hamburg (Friday afternoon, no surprise). What wasn’t ok, is that I wrecked my left front tyre in the car park, when I miscalculated the turn up the next level and hit the curb. Full force. Ugh!

I admit, I wasn’t sure if I should mention that here at all or keep it to myself and just write about how good it is to be here by the sea (true). Or how much I look forward to spending time by the beach (also true). Or how much I hope that the time here will help my anxious mind to calm down after this crappy year (also very true). And at the same time the wrecked tyre of course did the opposite of calming my anxious mind. It put my anxious mind in overdrive. So not mentioning it felt like a cop out.

I’m feeling all kinds of stuff at the moment. I’m pissed at myself that my negligence caused that. I’m embarrassed about it. I was worried that I couldn’t get it fixed in time for the long drive home on Thursday and my mind ran through all kinds of worst case scenarios. Good thing I’ve got roadside assistance coverage, I thought. I didn’t find the necessary confirmation in my car, so the first thing after putting down my bags was to log into my bank account to find the money transfer for the regular fee, which I thought included my contract’s number. They only needed my name though. And (bad) surprise. I had forgotten to transfer the assistance to the new car last year. And as it was registered for the former car they couldn’t help me. Or at least the guy on the phone said he couldn’t at the moment, but it might be possible to claim this damage on a new coverage for the new car, if I get that going with the people in charge of that on Monday. I don’t have high hopes though.

Which left me still with a flat tyre and the need to get it fixed before Thursday. I googled “Breakdown service” for the area I’m in and found a company / garage which looked reliable. The lady on the phone was lovely and after I went out to check the specifications printed on the tyre, she transferred me to a colleague who checked if they have that kind available. They do. The next embarrassing – at least that how it felt to me – moment came, when he had to explain to me that they need to tow the car regardless, because they only replace the tyre (rubber part) not the whole wheel. I only ever have to handle – buy / replace / ask my brother to switch them in the spring and fall – the whole wheel. I had no idea you could replace the components separately. Anyway… a mechanic will come out here tomorrow morning, tow my car and get me and the car to the garage, where they will fix it and I should be good to drive back here after lunch. Hallelujah! I hope I’m not jinxing it. It will cost me close to 400 € (almost as much as the weekly rent for the apartment) but there is nothing I can do about that. I’m just glad I can get it fixed immediately and thus will have it out of my mind in less than a day and can then hopefully really focus on my vacation.

While I seem to be in a chatty – over-sharing my anxieties – mood tonight: At some point during the drive – or maybe just as I hauled my bags in – I realized that I forgot to pack my camera strap. I use a sling strap, diagonally over one shoulder so I carry the camera on hip height. It works great for me. So going without this one means I (would) have to carry my camera in my bag, get it out and pack it in and as I can be quite the klutz on occasion constantly worry that I might drop it. And yes, of course I properly beat myself up over forgetting to pack the strap. As the blown tyre will take me out and away from the beach tomorrow anyway I looked up photography stores in the area as well. It seems like I found one where I might be able to by some kind of sling / strap to prevent the klutzy camera drop. Wish me luck.

Last anxiety ridden moment tonight: I started worrying that I might have given the garage the wrong specifications for the tyre. I used the camera torch light to check and noted it down right away AND I took a photo as well. On the photo it isn’t 100% clear if it’s 185 / 60 or 185 / 65 and Google gives me both options for my type of car. So what if I had the wrong numbers and the garage doesn’t have the correct tyre available? Of course my mind then went ahead once more and played me the embarrassing moment, when the mechanic arrives tomorrow morning, has a look himself and realized I gave them the wrong numbers and it would all get complicated and even more expensive and would take days to get my car fixed. After that lovely preview I had a look in my car registration papers, where the correct tyre specifications are noted. The ones I passed on. Of course.

Sometimes I really hate my anxious mind. But it’s the only one I’ve got so I better learn to live with it. The fact that I quickly caught myself when my mind started spiralling down the well of negativity is a good sign, that I’m doing sort of okay with it. Sometimes anyway…

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