06.07.2021 | But it feels like I haven’t slept at all…

Lyrics: “I Am Disappeared” ~ Frank Turner, 2011

It’s 2 in the morning. I’m (wide) awake once again. Might just as well use this time to blog.

Blog | At least every other day I think you should / could write about this or that. I will get back to writing more regularly, I hope. There is just so much going on. And on the other hand: not much is going on. Nothing new or different or exciting. Not in a good way anyway.

Sleep | These last few days I’ve been going to bed freakingly early-ish. Like around 9 or 9.30, because I’m knackered. I slept well and long on the weekend and still felt knackered around 8 each night. Of course once the work week starts I’m waking up in the middle of the night and have a hard time to fall back to sleep. Like tonight. I have a vague idea what’s keeping me awake… subconscious anxious worrying about work and other stuff. It still sucks. I’m very much looking forward to my 2.5 weeks off, where I can sleep when and as much as I like. I just have to get through this week (of work) first.

Sugar | Some time ago a German journalist who is open about his depression mentioned on Twitter that he cut sugar out of his diet and that this helped with his mental health. Every once in a while I read something similar from other sources, so I thought it can’t hurt to follow that example. Not (just) for the dietary aspect of less calories etc, but the positive effect it might have on sleep and mental health in general. It definitely couldn’t hurt. I went without additional sugar (as in chocolates, sweets, sugared drinks) for a while and only recently added the occasional sugar in moderation again. I don’t know if it helped so far. It definitely didn’t hurt.

Tea | Is what I’m drinking at the moment. “Inner Calm” or whatever the blend was called. I’m too lazy to get up and into the kitchen to look it up. I hope it helps.

Topics | (see how neatly alphabetically I went here) Further topics I might want to write about in the next few days when I’m finally off work. Just jotting them down here to remember them and to maybe make myself be more accountable.

  • Clothes sizes and why I try not to give fuck about those this year.
  • Politics in Germany in an election year
  • How my impulsive book purchases might have gotten out of hand and why so many books can’t hold my attention at the moment (I don’t have an answer to that question yet)
  • Why and how the pandemic has made me even more of an introvert and hermit and how on earth can I get back to some sort of normal life. The situation here in Germany is similar or even better than it was last summer, but I’m still more anxious about going out and doing stuff.

Feeling a bit more drowsy now so I’ll go and give sleep another chance. Wish me luck.

Only five more days till I’m back here…

By the sea, summer 2020
By the sea, summer 2020

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