02.05.2021 | “I Keep Having Dreams…”

Lyrics: “I Am Disappeared” ~ Frank Turner, 2011

Dreams | I usually don’t remember my dreams very often. Sometimes I have a glimpse of what I dreamed about in the first few waking moments, but those fragments slip away quickly. This last week though two dreams stayed with you a bit longer with me. I have no idea what to make of that.

In the first one I think I wasn’t myself, though I don’t know who I was instead. A woman anyway. I was somewhere in India or Southeast Asia standing on the ledge of a cliff, some way above the water. 20-30 metres maybe. I don’t know if I was dared to jump or came up with the idea on my own… I remember moving along the cliff to find the right spot to jump off so I would hit the water and not the rocky beach at the bottom. And then I jumped and the water was so deep but I was never really running out of air while coming up, because I somehow breathed in a few times while slowly moving up through the water to the surface. Breathing in under water. Well, sure. The next I remember was a kind old man putting a blanket around me, while I sat on the beach. And then I woke up.

Any idea what that means…?

Dream #2 was one I had dreamed before in a variety of ways. I was meeting someone or was going somewhere for work and parked my car in front of or near the building on a big parking lot. The building I went into for that meeting had many storeys and when I came all the way down and went to go get my car, the car was gone. At least I think it was, because all of a sudden I didn’t remember exactly where I parked it. Or at least thought I had forgotten where I parked it. Or if I locked it. I looked around for a while, then went to the police station – which was right next door – reported the car missing and sort of resigned to the fact, that this happened to me a lot and I shouldn’t be too surprised. I didn’t worry too much about it all obviously. Just my fate in life to have my car stolen or missing.

I mean… yeah, my mindless carelessness about possessions (where did I put this or that) around my flat should be worrying sometimes. But a car is a bigger thing to just give up on.

No idea what that dream was supposed to tell me either.

Entertainment | I’m still reading quite a lot, some books I enjoyed very much, some I finished by skimming over the last few chapters because I just couldn’t get into it.

I’m still or again having Outlander on on my TV (mid Season 3 by now, over half the season only today) to distract from the silence in my flat and to avoid “hearing” too much of my own thoughts, I think.

Monotony | I’m still in the so familiar pandemic funk. Not much news here. Possible Zoom date with friends next week, that’s something to look forward to. I’ve also got next Friday and the whole week after next week off from work , because I felt like I need more than just the weekend to get a few things done or get some new (better) routines established (see below).

My life really is boring as fuck right now and even if I never have been someone who needed to do stuff or go to events or meet people all the time, but by now the monotony is really, really dragging me down. “Highlight” of my day today was getting in the car to drive and pick up my order of Indian food from a new to me place about 10 minutes drive away. The restaurant I had ordered from a few times during the lockdown seems to have gone under, as I can’t find it online (on Google or maps) anymore. I feel a bit bad for them obviously.

(Healthier) Routines | I’m planning to start over with the My Peak Challenge workout tomorrow. I need to do something and as I for some reason have a hard time picking up my guitar – probably for fear of failure – I might at least give working out another try to fill my time. This afternoon I also finally took the plunge and logged out of Twitter on my phone. Not uninstalled the app yet, but at least make it rather laborious to check it quite so often. I will still be able to check it on the computer or the tablet or even the phone browser after logging in there again. But I really needed that intervention, I’m afraid. Let’s see how it will go….

Fragmented Travel Memory | In one of the Outlander episodes I watched this morning they mentioned Dundee and Arbroath. Oh, I had such a lovely time in both places in 2019, when it was surprisingly warm for May.

The V&A and the RSS Discovery, Dundee, May 20219
Arbroath Abbey, May 2019
Arbroath Abbey, May 2019

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