06.12.2020 | “When it feels like life weighs ten thousand tonnes”

Lyrics: “I Am Disappeared”, Frank Turner, 2011

COVID-19 is still raging in Germany and I doubt we’ll experience any relief any time soon, because the measures taken by Goverment on all levels are only half-hearted and in my eyes not effective at all. Far from it. I’m afraid early in the new year numbers will rise even more than they have before and it’s frustrating and exhausting and I’m so so tired of it all. I know more and more people who had be in quarantine or take a test. All negative so far, thank God. But it’s getting closer and that worries me as well. Of course.

Not much going on in my life other than work, which is still very busy and I often feel like I’m not on top of things, which adds to the worrying. Local politics which is something I hardly get interested in at the moment. I have to though, because there are meetings I have to attend and be prepared for, but it all seems a bit much at the moment. Only two more weeks till I’m off from work for 2.5 weeks and I so need the time off, I think.

At least I think yesterday I finally found some ‘tools’ to keep me from not procrastinating or dawdling too much. Be more focused and all that. Also yesterday, when I was already in bed, I had an idea for a crazy  / cool Frank Turner lyrics project. Which today has kept my mind busy and occupied for 4-5 hours through the day. No worrying, no mindless dawdling to avoid the worrying. Hallelujah, it feels good to have a bit of a purpose these days. 

Insight into my messed-up mind: I almost ended the previous paragraph with a self-depracating “even if it’s just a silly fan project” bit. Screw that! There are no silly projects, if they keep my mind busy and focused and engaged with interesting stuff and things that make me happy! So there!

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