04.11.2020 | “Lately I’ve Been Feeling All Worn Out”

Title Lyrics: “Faithful Son”, Frank Turner

Almost 10 days since my last post. Yep, that seems typical for my life at the moment. Always catching up, at least that’s what it feels like. Let’s try a short roundup on a few topics…

Commute: Ugh, I’ve began to very much dislike it this week. 45 minutes one way, 2/3 of that on the motorway, where there are so many idiots and / or jerks. Ugh! *Deep breath*. I was hoping we’d be ordered back into working from home again, because of the restricted lockdown Germany is in at the moment, but so far…. Nope.

Election “night”: I already spent a bit too much time glued to a phone screen this morning until I decided to only check in intervals of about 20 minutes. Because a) everyone says it will still take a while and b)  it doesn’t matter when I learn about the results, because I can’t do / change anything about them. Yep, trying to be Zen here. 

Exhaustion: I usually try to get a decent amout of sleep (6-7 hours) and these days I at least am more or less successful with that. Weirdly enough it often means going to bed early and still getting up early (see Mornings). But I feel like a whole day of… work and people and errands and news and a pandemic is taking such a toll on my energy. I get home, veg out on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through my phone and/or watch TV. Might read a bit and then I’m off to bed. 

Fragments: More and more those fragmented memories pop up and make me long for better days. Normal days. Days of activities and travel and seeing other people and…. this winter is going to be so hard.

Guitar: About one week in and I’m still enjoying it. I like that the online course I decided to go with is very chill about progress. “You’ll get there, take your time, don’t worry” vibe and I need that as I’m very quickly very frustrated with a lack of progress. So far I’m hanging in even though I haven’t practised for two days now (see Exhaustion). But that’s fine as well.

Mornings: As I’m in this weird cycle of exhaustion I go to bed early to also get up early and get up early-ish to get some of the things done, which I couldn’t get myself to do in the evenings. But then I often start dawdling around with yet other stuff and tasks and ideas and I’m not sure that’s the right way to do it yet. I don’t knooooooow 🙁

Next Cloud: Two days ago we got a mail that work will switch from Owncloud to Nextcloud. Mmmh, I usually trust our IT so I looked into that and thought maybe the vague idea of cleaning up my Owncloud data should be combined to making the change as well. Took care of the installation yesterday morning. (see Mornings).

Politics: (Here on the local level). We’ve got a few new-ish members in our Green party who are very motivated and want to do things which is very good. But I realize more and more that I find it very challenging, because in a way it challenges the way “we” have always done things and such. I KNOW I should be happy about the development, but instead I’m a grumpy old politician who wants to hang on to old tradtions and ideas, just because… ? Turning into a person I don’t really like. I need to work through that a bit more.

Walk with a friend: On Satuday I met up with a good friend for a long walk to make the best of the nice weater and to catch up, which was lovely. The walk and the catching up 🙂

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