20.09.2020 | I’m out of lyrics (for now)

There are no lyrics to fit this jumble of thoughts today. So maybe I’ll stop doing those for a while. The lyrics, not the thoughts, even though I’m not consistent with posts either. I still need to find my way around here, I guess.

I’ve been without internet at home for almost two days now. It seems to be a wide spread lasting failure according to “report disruption websites” and the provider’s twitter feed, but that’s all I know so far. I’ve DM them after the automatic voice on the hotline told me my modem needs a reboot and that could last up till 30 minutes and if the internet still isn’t back, I should call again. Dude! I rebooted the modem several times and your troubleshooting program clearly told me there must be an outage. It’s frustrating and a bit disconcerting to once again realize how much I rely on function broadband and WiFi these days. I’ve used up all my monthly data so far and bought several additional data packs which won’t last me for too long I’m afraid. Such an addict. *sigh*

While reading comments on these websites I despaired by the tone of most of them. Yes being without internet sucks, but holy shit, people, take a breath and think a minute before you type. Whatever happened to the way we interact with each other? Yes, even on the internet or probably even more so on the internet. I can’t imagine those people storming into stores spewing this hatred to some real person. Or maybe they will in the near future, I don’t know. I guess I’m an old naive bleeding heart softie, who thinks that being respectful to each other is the way to be. Except Nazis. F*CK NAZIs of course. But in general… where is all the negativity coming from? *sigh*

Over this past week I ended up having a few discussions about society and politics with a variety of people. Some of them left me at least reconsidering my stance. Not giving up my opinion, but at least trying to understand the others point of view, which I hopefully always tried in any discussion. But I noticed it a bit more recently. I the same vain I also noticed that I didn’t take it too personal that these people disagreed with me. And in fewer cases or to lesser degree I worried that these people think less of me now that I disagree with them. Discourse is good and vital and we might not always come to an agreement, but as long as we debate respectfully that’s good, right? But it feels good to not question my own self-worth after every diasgreement. Let’s see how long this confident mood lasts.

I’m a bit disappointed with myself in a few other regards, because I’m so flighty with everything and don’t stick with stuff and all that. I might need to work on that a bit more. And not keep blaming it on the pandemic and the worry and lethargy that came and still comes with it. Posting here is one of those things that often fall by the wayside. I need to work on that too. I just realize I hadn’t share election results from last week. They were a very mixed back. We Greens won two more which was nice of course and means a lot of change for us. It makes me a bit wary, but that’s also one of the emotional reactions I need to investigate a bit more closely. Anyway, the majority party has kept it’s very vast majority, so nothing has really changed, because they can still do what they want, which is frustrating.

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